I had a very dear friend for many years, I have no sisters and I thought of her as one. We went out all the time, just us or as couples(her hubby and mine were also good friends.)
Without going into much detail... my hubby and I decided to divorce and when we shared this with them..she went nuts...she accused me of going after her hubby, said I was a backstabber all unfounded! We never spoke again. The loss of the person I thought was my best friend was almost as painful as the end of my marriage.
A young woman I thought of almost as a daughter turned on me and managed to turn almost the entire department (at our place of employment) against me as well. It ended up costing me my job and ending a 40-year career. We had had a falling out, which was my fault. (I react too strongly to treatment I think is improper of animals; I know that sounds irrational -- it is.) I recognized my misstep and tried to correct it. To no avail. (She was well aware of my ultra-sensitivity about treatment of animals.) It broke my heart.
posted by Ailim
over 2 years ago
A real true friend wouldn't do this. But I've had people I thought were friends that had no concept of what a friend is. Not so different from love actually.
Yes, I've had this happen to me more than once. Friend is an overused term me thinks. :-)
Oh yes, this happened to me with someone who I thought was a great friend. Not many people liked her and I was warned several times to be careful so I have no one to blame but myself. We were both being considered for a position and she cut my throat to get it. She told lies and turned people against me because she was so afraid that I would get the job and she would be out.
She did end up getting it because during all of the turmoil at work I left and took another job out of the state.
A couple of years later I learned that she got demoted and was about to be fired because she didn't do a very good job. She was one of those people who could talk a great story but couldn't produce.
When I heard that she was being pushed out I knew that I could either be happy and gloat or finally forgive her. I chose to forgive. I think she was shocked when I ran into her a few years later and gave her a big hug and wished her well.
My family was not as forgiving and they talk about her to this day!
My biggest friend betrayal happened before I ever married. I had a friend/roommate that was like a sister to me. She knew about my high school sweetheart (Dan) & how much in love with him I still was (this was a couple of years after high school.) It turns out a friend of hers married a friend of his & they both were in the wedding party - so she had met him before she knew me. One weekend when she went home with me she went around behind my back (using her friend) to get Dan to pick her up - she was obviously trying to put the move on him. I couldn't believe she'd done that to me. It destroyed my trust for her & pretty much ruined our friendship.
A few years later, one of the women my husband had a year-long affair with was a "friend" of mine. She used our friendship to gain information that helped her keep him on the string.
I've had some other more minor betrayals since then, but that first instance probably caused me to be a bit more cautious, and the second incident definitely contributed to a trust issue with other women & "my men". Ha!
