We're Past the Easy Beauty of Youth!
I don't remember now what I was listening to when I heard this phrase--"the easy beauty of youth." Yes, it was easy to be considered beautiful back then--didn't take much. I know we've talked about this before, but it's always worth revisiting.
It's so easy to gain weight and no longer easy to lose it. Muscles seem to want to give in to the pull of gravity. I don't think our parents or grandparents were so concerned about body image. Or were they?
I guess what I'm wondering is do these changes bother you, or are you comfortable in your own skin?
I know I'm much more concerned with a friend or possible companions character than I am their looks, but I have to admit it's nice to look at someone who looks good for their age.
i'm comfortable in my own skin for the most part. sure, i wished i was skinny like i was when i was 30, but as long as i enjoy a bowl of ice cream now and then, and a cocktail, i'll never be back to what i was. i still see myself pretty much as i've always been. i can't rake leaves or paint for 8 hours at a time anymore without being exhausted, but at least i can still do them! knock on wood, i'm healthy and strong still.
it has, it is and always will be about how a person looks.......attraction is the first indicator....I have heard it said ...their mind, kindness....etc etc......but if you don't physically push a button then you will never get to the batters box..let alone first base. I am good with how I feel about myself ..but I constantly run into other peoples opinion ....which mainly is based on their view of me...... a while back I did a little experiment on POF I took my son's computer and mine and created two separate accounts...I listed nothing but good attributes but I also posted a disclaimer saying I was over weight and showed full body pic.....on the other account I posted the same age info but listed lots of troublesome things along with a pic of a very physically fit person.......# of hits on account 2 where was like a 50 to 1 ration......There might be that person out there that says they find other attractions to make decisions on but they are far and few between. About a year ago or more here in EMW one night there was a post and one of the leading questions in it was ..Would you date a 400lb person.......So now I wonder ...Would you? Not you personally SF I mean the group
Would you date a 400lb Nobel Prize winner whose solved a problem of the world...would you date 400lb philanthropist ....a 400lb Dr. who dedicated their whole career to helping the needy and never became wealthy because of it.....these people all have demonstrated great degrees of intelligence, integrity and kindness ........I feel that it wouldn't happen and at the same time I feel a same age person who only graduated high school and holds down a routine job but has kept in psychical shape would get more attention....and if the woman feel different when applying these attributes to men...I know where there is a big ol biker type guy..who's pretty kind. I don't know about the smart bit....Hey I have to throw the dog a bone every once in a while
What an interesting experiment, easy. I think what you found is closer to the truth than what people say about character traits being more important than looks. I would find it difficult to be with someone who was not somewhat fit. Doesn't mean I'd object to someone who was carrying around a few extra pounds, but I am pretty sure I would find it difficult to be attracted to a person who weighed as much as your example. If that makes me shallow, then so be it. Just trying to be honest here.
I have a close personal friend who is very smart, fun to be with, very over weight, and very married. Had he not been married......
I do see past the physical. My only concern for him was his BP, and his overall health concerns. He has since joined with his wife in a successful diet program, and I am proud of them both. They are off a lot of their meds.
I agree with you, SF...I would have a problem dating someone that heavy,mostly because it indicates (to me) a possible health issue if not currently then in the near future. I have no problem with someone carrying more than a few extra pounds (because I am in THAT category) but able to be physically active. I realize that is a generalization and there may be 400 lb people who are able to 'keep up' physically.
For the most part, I am okay with my looks--I do want to pare down the weight and am working on it. I would love to date someone who brings out the best in me and vice versa--we could encourage one another to exercise more and help one another to be healthier.
Yep, am comfortable with me - it is what it is!!! I still work out, swim, play with the kiddos. Some stuff I can't do, because of 5 car crashes earlier in life, but I do what I can, with what I have, where I am. No sense mourning about yesterday - today, I get to LIVE!!!
I am comfortable with me. But I miss being able to do as much physical activity as I use too and the energy level that comes with being young. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may find someone attractive and someone else may not that comes at any age.
Can you be more specific on the physical activity limitations Sunmommy.....for example.....could you still bob for apples?
i've just had this same conversation with a girlfriend recently. at a meet up there was a guy who was obviously 'taken' with her. imho he's a kind person, nice to be around, and takes care how he dresses, etc. but she said to me "argh, he's got a hooked nose, and whats with those slits for eyes... nothing there for me"!, i thought how sad for her. she's only looking at the "cover" and not what's underneath...different strokes for different folks i guess.
