Hello, Cruisin.... it's nice to meet you and Welcome to the Group no-one really wants to belong to.

I'm happy for you that you have returned your focus to your second love - the building and restoration of old cars - I'm sure it can be quite satisfying seeing the end product. That is probably exactly what you need to be doing to re-find the "you" that you are missing.

I have lots of selfish cries... some days are better than others (today has been a doozy). Hopefully, that will pass eventually - perhaps I should take a lesson from you and immerse myself into a hobby. It was two years for me on November 12th, and I was doing alot better, then a couple things knocked me back down.... I need to do something to pick myself back up again, I suppose.

Friendship and support - yep, you've come to the right place. We do have plenty of friendship and support to share.

Welcome Crusinthe34, I am sorry for your loss but you have come to a good group of people. There are some further along than yourself I lost my husband 4 yrs ago and we even have some that have lost loved ones just recently but we are all here to try to help each other whenever the need comes along. I am glad that you are in the garage working again my husband used to work on race cars, old cars, new cars he was always around the garage working on a car he loved it. The cars you rebuilt he would have loved I hope you come often to read the posts and answer them if you feel like it. There is always someone here to vent to if you feel like doing that or just tell how you feel. It is a friendly group so you can say whatever you feel like saying. We look forward to getting to know you and again I am so sorry you had to join this group but I am happy you found us.

God Bless
mooseie

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Welcome cruisin to the group that no one chooses to belong to. My 1 yr anniversary passed in August. Please come often and just read if you dont feel like posting. There is always someone who either is feeling the way you do or has been there. Many of the people here have been here much longer than us and their posts give me hope for the future. My husband loved the old muscle cars. not quite as old of cars as yours. But they also gave him enjoyment. Looking forward to hearing from you again as time goes on.

Cruisin, I'm glad you found this group. The others have said it quite well: you will find compassion and understanding here. Some are a little farther along on the journey - I'm at 20 months - and we all remember the pain and the struggles to find a new reality.
Stop by often. Tell us what's going on with you. We care.
hugs...marty

Welcome cruisin and I too am sorry for your loss. Don't feel selfish. It's been 2 and a half years since Joe passed and life will never be the same again. We invent a new "me" and try to be as happy as we can. It looks like you are on to a good start. I hope that the holidays are easy for you filled with fond memories. Pat

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and you never have to feel selfish about crying or feeling lousy. I lost my husband on Sept. 24, 2007 and just went through the 2nd angel date of his passing. I have my good days and horrible days still and with the holiday fast approaching, things will get harder for all of us again. Grieving is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and it has no time line as far as I can see. I am so happy that you have gone back to your love of rebuilding and restoring antique cars and hobbies that gave us pleasure before our spouses passed seem to be very hard for us to take back up again. Your wife would agree that you should get back to what you truly loved and maybe you can lose yourself into the cars and take some of the edge off of the grieving, even if it is for a little while. Great to meet you and please feel free to come back to the group and post a lot or just read some of the older posts, or just answer some of the newer ones.
Hugs,
Kathy

Crusisin...as all the others I would like to say hello and express my sympathy for your loss, we have all faced that moment as well and you will find this group filled with loving, understanding and compassionate friends. I am glad that you fould the group as so many have found it to be of help in their grief journey...which wa the purpose of it coming about. Please never feel that you are selfish as we all experience similar feelings as a result of this journey that we are on...there is no selfish to it...rather a means of coping and adjustment to our now lives. I am glad that you had a hobby to turn back to as that can be a great source of therapy as well. Come as often as you can to the group as you will find it helpful in many ways. If you feel like posting and sharing do so as perhaps what you post that day will in someway help someone else. If you don't feel like posting read (even from the very old messages) as there is a wealth of knowledge and help in them. Know that there is always someone here willing to listen, talk or cry with you...it is all a part of the healing...in sharing with the others here it helps in that healing. Looking forward to knowing you and hearing more about your beautiful wife as we meet her through your eyes.

Hugs of friendship.....Jarcy

Thank you all for your warm welcome. I think the activity is the thing that is helping me most to find my 'new normal' as I call it. During the last two years of my wife's life, my primary role was caregiver. At the time, I didn't identify it as such, I was support and cheerleader and all those many positive thought things we do.

Here is a link to the story of the build of my '41 Ford that many of our friends gravitated to and helped with through the last year of Nan's life. Nan didn't love that truck as much as she loved everyone coming once a week to complete the truck. I'm so grateful for those who helped.
view link

Through the past year I have had many people ask if I'm angery, mad etc etc and thats a very hard question to answer. I always say, I had a plan and God has a plan, and in my case, those plans just didn't agree at this time. O ver that last year, I took my wife for 56 Chemotherapy treatments, and each time we got to the hospital, the parking lot was full....the treatment center was busy....we drove past a kidney dialysis center on the way there, and their parking lot was always full......my wife thought me, we all bear the things we are given as best we learn how, I asked "why me" but in light of everything, thats an unfair question.