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I think that this is very true. I have a good friend who has fibromyalgia, clinical depression, etc. and she has made loneliness a way of life over the many years that we have been friends. I find that when we spend too much time together that if affects me, also. We spent a lot of time together over the summer and it took awhile to get out of the funk that I had gotten into.
She went to the Thanksgiving gathering that I was at. She hid in the back of the group photo.

Crowlady...I agree with what you said - completely. I had a neighbor that was one of the most negative people I'd ever been around & she always left me feeling drained after I was around her. Actually, even talking to her on the phone was enough to affect me.

BUT...I think that the majority of lonely people are likely depressed. So I have to wonder, which comes first...the loneliness or the depression? I've suffered from both - the loneliness after my divorce which lead to my feeling depressed. But then I've also suffered from depression which lead me to withdraw - pretty much from life in general - which of course lead to loneliness. And I wasn't a very fun person to be around in either instance.

I've noticed in the past couple of months I've kind of been withdrawing from socializing with my friends. Am I lonely or depressed, or both? Hmmmm - and I'm likely spreading my "joy" to people that I'm around or talk to, IF I let my guard down (which I can't do with work but tend to do socially.) So I've been in a bit of a quandary trying to figure out what my "issue" is so I'll know what to do about it.

I'm alone. And lonely at times, but have never felt depressed about it. Having pets around that you're responsible for and that amuse you, will counteract a feeling of being totally alone, at least in my case. Plus I work full-time and am around people most of the day, so I don't feel isolated at all. I manage to stay positive, too. The only thing that concerns me somewhat is that I'm comfortable being alone, so if I ever found myself in a relationship again, would I be just as comfortable sharing my life? At least I know I'm willing to take that chance.

I agree with the article with a few qualifiers. I know that for me, it is easy to be alone. I have never been a fragile woman, needing someone in order to survive and I thrive in my solitude at times. The loneliness comes from not having someone to go out to dinner with or share the events in my life but even though; I've learned to celebrate them in my own way.

I have a couple of friends that fall into the articles description. I found myself hesitating to call them or answer the phone when they called because I would fall prey to their mindset. I could hear the depression and it helped me to recognize it in myself. A few months ago, I made a conscious decision to show them what I meant by being solitary without being lonely. I traveled out of state and stayed with them for a week at a time and we did projects to improve their living situation. I stayed and worked on their homes while they went to work. We remodeled a kitchen, painted, de-cluttered, installed lights, insulated, moved furniture, took things to the dump and generally tried to make their place more pleasant and someplace they were proud to have people come. I gave them recipes for one and took new food for them to try. The first one has made a dramatic change in her attitude and in her lifestyle and is a pleasure again to talk to. The second is still in process and is a bit of a tougher nut to crack as she is suffering some serious health problems and her projects will require a few more work visits.

My point in sharing this is what this plan has done for me. I'm in control of my situation and although I love my solitude and recognize that we all need it to regroup and refocus, I don’t need to be lonely and I can make a small difference in the lives of others.

I like being with people. As a teacher, and working part time, I'm surrounding with younger and older people everyday, so I enjoy coming back home and being alone although I'm not absolutely alone since my son lives with me. He travels for work most of his time though.It's strange, maybe but I enjoy being alone and doing the things I like.I've joined several meetup groups but I always have an excuse, and stay home. I wonder if I ever will find a nice man to share my life with.......

I dunno. I think the concept has some merit, but I agree with the critics quoted who pointed out that misreading the data can skew the results, as has been shown with other studies seeking links among individuals. I certainly believe our moods can have an impact on others, and I also believe that we can easily counteract those impacts, if we are aware of them and if we choose to do so.

Witness the part of the story that reports that spouses and children are far less likely to be affected -- and presumably they live in the same house. It's odd that a neighbor could be more likely to be affected. And, too, there is the notion that women are more affected than men because they "articulate their emotions" more readily -- if that is the case, then why don't more husbands become affected by their wives' expressions of loneliness -- verbal or nonverbal?

Can and do we affect others with our expression of thoughts/feelings and our actions? Sure. Is it inevitable? No, I don't think so. Awareness and subsequent action are the keys to maintaining our own equilibrium in the face of another's negativity.

Thank you, TooYoung, for the heads-up!