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Welcome back Kathy I am glad that you were able to go visit your Dad and had a good time while there. Christmas is fast approaching and I have already decorated my one window in my bedroom with the Nativity scene and all kinds of snowflakes,Christmas tree and other things using the vinyl window decorations. My kids as I call them are getting a real tree this year from a tree farm. We have a 8 yr old in the house so we all try to make happy memories of Christmas for him. I hope all of you are able to make some happy memories of now to go along with the happy memories you have with your loved one. Hugs

God Bless
mooseie

Kathy, I'm glad you had a nice visit with your family. My Thanksgiving was pretty low key - good food, of course. At this moment, I am not planning to do anything for Christmas. Of course, that may change. It just seems like alot of trouble for the two days the grandkids will be with me.

This is my first year so I'm going to kept thinking of the good memories we had together and go from there.

I am able to put out more decorations this year, but not a full tree...just bought a simple 3 Ft fake one from Michaels that has lights and pinecones and ribbons on it...still can't bear to bring out the old ornaments with all the memories..this is my 3rd year too.

This is my 5th Christmas without Charlie and for me the hardest of all the holidays, as it was his favorite. The first two years I just couldn't do a thing for the holiday. I recognized it and didn't allow others to push me into anything I couldn't handle. I accepted limited invitations doing only what I knew I could take on. Decorating was out of the question. I have no family left, no one coming for the holiday so what did it matter. The third year changed how I do Christmas. I nowl do some light decorating here in the house..first my nativity set as that is the reason for Christmas and it takes the top spot. Then some vinyl window decorations, a little green with colored balls and the soft lights mixed in. Then goes up the 3ft tree with just lights on it. About one - two weeks before Christmas I have a "Memory Open House" celebration. I serve light refreshments of Charie's favorite cookies and coffee. Each individual invited is encouraged to bring an ornament that brings back a memory of Charlie for them. We have our refreshments and then each person has a turn of putting their ornament on the tree and sharing the memory about Charlie and why the ornament reminds them of him.
It has proven to be a great time for everyone as we share memories, laughter and yes tears.
The tree then reminds me that I am not alone in my missing him and the shared memories become treasures. The tree stays up and reminds me that a part of him lives on in each of our hearts and it makes me feel even more comforted through this holiday.
It does get easier each year and as I have made new traditons, with new memories to add to those past the holiday is more enjoyable and less lonely.

This is technically my second Christmas without Nan, though it feels like the first. She passed one week before Thanksgiving last year. I've choosen 'low key' for the holidays. I volunteered to be 'OnCall' at work through both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I work as a network analyst for a large four campus hospital group here in my area.

Thats been a distraction, but I think I will put out a few small decorations in the living room this year. I've already written and sent several Christmas cards....that was harder than I thought it would be.

I've told people, I dont expect it to get any 'easier', I'm just trying to 'handle it better'. :)

That's all you can do, Cruisin -- handle it better. For most of us, lots of contact with friends and family is the best antidepressant, and making new friends as we go to increase our opportunities to spend time with others, so we don't overload our "old" friends emotionally.

My first Christmas alone, I didn't decorate at all because I left town for two weeks, to visit with family. It wasn't just the kids and grandkids I visited, but cousins I hadn't seen in years except for an hour or two at an occasional funeral. We had always wanted to find a way to spend more time together -- that old, familiar promise we make with our cousins that never gets realized. I'm glad I found a way to make it happen, but sad that it was my wife's passing away that triggered it.

This year, I've decorated the house like I used to years ago, and put up a big tree inside. Although there's no big party planned, there are several nights when friends will be over, and there will be smiles and laughter. No tears allowed.