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You have found a good place to get support. I know the other parents will share their thoughts and feelings with you.
I have to rush off to work now but I didn't want you not to get a response.
Will answer more later.
HUGS!!

I can sense your anguish over what to do for the holidays. Your loss is so new and fresh, you can't imagine a Christmas without your loved one. Thinking back to our first Christmas, nine years ago now, we cried a lot, we hugged our remaining family members a lot. We had support from some of our siblings and certainly our parents. We also had much needed support from our church ministry team. I'm hoping you can find some of the same kind of support. You will certainly need it.

As far as how to remember your Daughter Rachel, we made angel and star ornaments for our tree with our Daughter's picture embossed on them. I don't know if it helped, but it was an act of remembrance that included her in our Christmas. In following years, when we couldn't tolerate the holiday season, we left and went on a trip, just to make the holiday season different. Some times the pain is too great, and you need to escape. Please remember, we are like minded people, and I will keep you in my prayers this holiday season.

At first, my family and friends flinched and held thier breathes when ever I would try to "include" my late son in the festivities. He loved the holidays and being here with his family. They thought it would bring back all the pain, I finally convinced them the pain is always with me and it comforted me to have them share memories of times gone by.

You do whatever feels right to you!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, the first year is the hardest.

We are running away for Christmas again this year after my daughter died in August. When my older daughter died in November 1992 we ran away (the 3 of us) to different places for 3 years at Christmas time. Places as far away from the Christmases we had known for years, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Bahamas. Since there is only my husband and I left, we don't have to take care of anyone but ourselves. I am telling everyone that we are ignoring Christmas this year. No Christmas cards. I have given away or thrown out all the Christmas decorations. As long as we can, I think we will spend the holiday period anywhere but at home. I always used to go and put a wreath and pine branches on the cemetery. Can't do it this year. I have only been back to the cemetery once since August. Maybe in the Spring?

I am with Leprikin on this "you do what feels right!!!" they will deal with what ever you do...I think framing the note is a good start sweetie.
we started new traditions thats how we deal,mine is I go spend the night with my oldest daughter and 3 of my grandchildren,& we light a candle for my son...
as for your daughter & grands dont be affraid to let them see you cry every now and again strength may be a good thing but we need to remember also that we teach the children how to grieve a loved ones passing...
I know its hard to walk the fine line in holding it together or falling apart...Good Luck & you are in my prayers.Hugs

Oh Yes! do whatever you feel is right! I endorse that a million times.
Reading the posts is so comforting to me and I hope it comforts you to read them all.

I always light a candle Xmas eve and call it my Matthew candle. One of the things that I have done that really makes me feel better is that I take the amount of money I would have spent on his gifts and I use it to buy gifts for needy children or make a donation in his memory. My Matthew loved Christmas and I know he would be happy for a child to have gifts to open.
The first few years were very hard. I found that going away and not being with family (my mom and siblings) was very helpful. Their anxiety about not saying or doing anything to upset me was too hard on all of us. I decided to just give everyone a break and stay away. It was easier for me and for my daughters to be somewhere else.
I always make sure that my son has a Xmas tree or Wreath on his grave.

The first years are horrible but it does become manageable in time.
We will all be here for you and for each other.

I am sorry to hear of the lose of your daughter.I don't have a lot of advise to give.I lost my son two years ago and I am still trying to cope with his passing. He was 11 when he died and it completely devastated me.He loved Christmas also.Time helped ease the pain and to mend the hole it put through my sole.It helps me to remember why we have Christmas which is a celebration of the birth of Jesus who has risen from the dead and has promised anyone who calls on his name the promise of eternal life.My hope is that I will see my son again.My faith has grown stronger since his death and I pray yours will as well.Jesus has risen and I am sure you will see your daughter again.
God bless

I am so sorry to hear how you are having such a hard time. I buried my daughter on Christmas Eve day, so I can relate to what you are going through.Please think of what your daughter would want you to be doing, not crying when you think of her, but remembering the good times so you can smile and she can look down on that smile and not the tears. She wants you to be happy when you think of her and I know words are easier said than done, but if you could picture her in Heaven looking down at you, she would be so hurt to see you struggling so because of her death. Keep her memory happy in your heart . I saw on Dr. Phil awhile back about a couple who lost their child and was having so much trouble accepting the death. Dr, Phil said close your eyes, and think of Heaven where Jesus is centered with all the children laughing and playing except one child who never played or laughed with the others. Everyday this child sat alone until an angel asked the child why do you not play with the other children and sit her alone day after day? The child answered by saying, everytime I look down at my mother she is crying and it leaves me feeling so sad for her that I cannot enjoy my time with the others. I feel that story says alot to us who are left behind. I always buy an ornament every year in honor of my daughter and even give my sister a gift marked with from her name. Please remember your daughter is in the best Hands possible and she is always in your heart, and no one can ever take that from us. I hope this will help some to get you through the holidays with more cheer in your heart. Love wingsofspirit