You don't want to hear this
I have called upon You, for You will hear
me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, and
hear my speech.
( Psalms 17:6 * NKJV )
Now what if God changed like we do, and was to busy
to hear our prayers? Thank goodness God said: "I am
the Lord, I do not change." ( Malachi 3:6 )
So sit back and enjoy a humorous look at what prayer might
be like today if He did!
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part
of modern life. But, have you wondered, what if God decided to
install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
What if God used the familiar excuse..."I'm sorry, all of our angels
are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is
important to us and will be answered in the order it was received,
so please stay on the line"
Can you imagine getting these responses as you call God in
Prayer?
If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other angels, Press 3
If you'd like to hear King David sing a psalm while you are holding,
please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5, enter his or her social security number, then
press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try
area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N,
followed by 3-1-6.
What if you heard, our computers show that you have already
prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
( or )
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need
emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your
local Pastor.
Thank GOD, He Doesn't Have Voice Mail And He
Always Listens When We Pray!!! After all, remember that
God's always answers all "knee" mail! Amen.
me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, and
hear my speech.
( Psalms 17:6 * NKJV )
Now what if God changed like we do, and was to busy
to hear our prayers? Thank goodness God said: "I am
the Lord, I do not change." ( Malachi 3:6 )
So sit back and enjoy a humorous look at what prayer might
be like today if He did!
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part
of modern life. But, have you wondered, what if God decided to
install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
What if God used the familiar excuse..."I'm sorry, all of our angels
are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is
important to us and will be answered in the order it was received,
so please stay on the line"
Can you imagine getting these responses as you call God in
Prayer?
If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other angels, Press 3
If you'd like to hear King David sing a psalm while you are holding,
please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5, enter his or her social security number, then
press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try
area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N,
followed by 3-1-6.
What if you heard, our computers show that you have already
prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
( or )
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need
emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your
local Pastor.
Thank GOD, He Doesn't Have Voice Mail And He
Always Listens When We Pray!!! After all, remember that
God's always answers all "knee" mail! Amen.
