Banned
Husband banned from Target
> >
> > After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her
> on her trips to
> Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping
> boring and
> preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my
> wife is like
> most women - she loves to browse.
> >
> > Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
> from our local
> Target.
> >
> > Dear Mrs. Samsel,
> >
> > Over the past six months, your husband has caused
> quite a commotion in
> our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
> been forced to
> ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
> against your husband,
> Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by
> our video
> surveillance cameras.
> >
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in other
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the
> floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official
> voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
> This caused the
> employee to leave her assigned station and receive a
> reprimand from her
> Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
> causing
> management to lose time and costing the company money.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
> a bag of M&Ms on
> layaway.
> >
> > 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> and told the
> children shoppers he would invite them in if they would
> bring pillows
> and blankets from the bedding department to which
> twenty children
> obliged.
> >
> > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
> him he began crying
> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me
> alone?' EMTs were
> called.
> >
> > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he
> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
> >
> > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> while loudly humming
> the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
> >
> > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
> his 'Madonna look'
> by using different sizes of funnels.
> >
> > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed
> > through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
> >
> > 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S
> THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
> >
> > And last, but not least:
> >
> > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door, waited awhile,
> and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
> toilet paper in here.' One
> of the clerks passed out.
> >
> > After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her
> on her trips to
> Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping
> boring and
> preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my
> wife is like
> most women - she loves to browse.
> >
> > Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
> from our local
> Target.
> >
> > Dear Mrs. Samsel,
> >
> > Over the past six months, your husband has caused
> quite a commotion in
> our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have
> been forced to
> ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
> against your husband,
> Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by
> our video
> surveillance cameras.
> >
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in other
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the
> floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official
> voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
> This caused the
> employee to leave her assigned station and receive a
> reprimand from her
> Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
> causing
> management to lose time and costing the company money.
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
> a bag of M&Ms on
> layaway.
> >
> > 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> and told the
> children shoppers he would invite them in if they would
> bring pillows
> and blankets from the bedding department to which
> twenty children
> obliged.
> >
> > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
> him he began crying
> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me
> alone?' EMTs were
> called.
> >
> > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he
> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
> >
> > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> while loudly humming
> the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
> >
> > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
> his 'Madonna look'
> by using different sizes of funnels.
> >
> > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed
> > through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
> >
> > 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S
> THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
> >
> > And last, but not least:
> >
> > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door, waited awhile,
> and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
> toilet paper in here.' One
> of the clerks passed out.
