Message 4851 of 6540

COMPLAINTS

Can you imagine what your life would be like if you simply dropped your
complaints? "It's a radical proposal, since most of us have been trained
to question, analyze, and criticize everything we see. But then we end
up questioning, analyzing, and criticizing ourselves. Then we miss out
on joy, the only true measure of success" Alan Cohen
moondancerinred's profile
Replies 1 - 10 of 29
I think it is a remarkably American notion and void of much of the reality of the world. That is my first notion. One example I will give is that 1 billion people on earth go to bed hungry every night. There are many more examples. Having said that, in more affluent countries that is probably true. Even in the most drastic of conditions, it still is not good to criticize ourselves too much, however.
Pamela4's profile

over 2 years ago
I think questioning and analyzing are different that complaining. I also think offering solutions to non-efficient systems is also different than complaining. To me complaining is just the griping without any positive to go with it.
MsKelly's profile

over 2 years ago
I'm with Kelly here. Questioning and analyzing everything, including oneself, are necessary steps to making any kind of positive change or finding any sort of actual truth. The alternative is blind acceptance, which is for sheep.

This Cohen guy has it wrong, in my opinion. True joy starts with self-awareness, and that involves asking yourself a fair number of serious questions and analyzing until you find the answers. The alternative there is taking all your self-worth from the judgements of others, which are based on their standards and not your own.

Complaining as a way of life is a sheer path to a useless life. A certain amount of bitching, blowing off steam, or what's called in military circles pissing and moaning, is a harmless and rather therapeutic form of literary art.
ghostwalker51's profile

over 2 years ago
There is a big difference between questioning/analyzing and complaining.

That said, i see no point in constantly complaining about things one isn't ready to be some part of solving/fixing or that are not really 'fixable' (none of us is getting younger, only older), or can only slightly eased (such as arthritis pain). Complaining will only make you feel worse, like worrying it's useless. Do what you can and let it go.

Examining things that upset us allows us to make the critical distinction between the things we can have some impact on and the ones we can't. How do you get 'the wisdom to know the difference without looking closely at various things???

'True joy starts with self-awareness', enough self awareness to occaisionally be able to forget yourself and just do what feels good. Even if its a 'good deed' that feels like a drop in the bucket--if it helps 1 person, makes one person smile--isn't it worth it? Even if its something that might seem silly to some for a person your age.
feywon's profile

over 2 years ago
"A bitching sailor is a happy sailor." Probably Navy propaganda.We all complained about everything. Even shore duty in Hawaii for two years on "The Rock" or Oahu. This is Paradise? But we had some good times.

I've been looking through some old journals and there's a lot of complaining there that was part of the self-examination that's always going on. Those writings seem pretty negative, a lot of time wasted on things that now seem not so important. To me, though, journal writing was like visiting a therapist. Once I put it down on paper, it somehow didn't seem so bad.
popron's profile

over 2 years ago
When I was 22 (a very YOUNG 22, I might add), I was complaining to my boss about something, and he said, "Don't come to me with a complaint, if you don't have a solution to go with it." I took that to heart and made it my mission in life to be a problem-solver, not a complainer. Not all the solutions I've come up with for problems were workable, it turned out, but it got my focus in the right place and I got better at problem-solving as time went on.

As for problems that can't be solved (such as my constant hip pain), I cover those with thanksgiving for related blessings in my life (I can still walk on my own). I always find I have much more to be thankful for in my life, than to whine about.

I also don't spend time around complainers. I make attempts to point out an attitude of gratitude and be a role model, but if they insist on being negative people I eventually stop associating with them.
MsKelly's profile

over 2 years ago
I have a complaint...
I'm watching a program on the History Channel about "How The Earth Was Made" and they're talking about volcanoes and the eruption of Krakatoa. The narrator, referring to Krakatoa, says..."And now, let's return to the scene of the crime."
What CRIME? It's a volcano. Not a bank robber.
They also like to refer to cosmic occurrences like gamma ray bursts and supernovas as "events of destructive force".
The only destructive force in the universe is the human race.
gollum's profile

over 2 years ago
i'm with you on that Kelly. i just don't want to fill my days with unproductive griping (mine or anyone elses). If it's heading toward finding solutions...that's different. Sometimes the first solution offered might not work...but might inspire others to come up with one that will.
feywon's profile

over 2 years ago
LOL Gollum! I agree.

Sometimes, complaining is a good thing, you can effect a change.
TwoSpirits's profile

over 2 years ago
I agree with Popron on journaling. I usually start my day that way. For me it sheds the nagging little irritations in life from even being expressed to others, because in the process of writing about what I'm unhappy with, I usually evolve into finding solutions to my problems, and things that I am grateful for.

I think it is necessary at times though to vent to a close friend. Telling them up front that's all it is - venting - and that you don't necessarily expect any answers, can do the same thing as the journaling sometimes, with a little added bonus of insight from someone else who may be able to see the situation more clearly and without the emotional involvement that keeps me stuck.
BarbInBend's profile

over 2 years ago
Replies 1 - 10 of 29

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