groups

TELL
> ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US ***
>
> Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house
> together.
>
> One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her
> foot in and pauses...She yells to the other sisters,
> "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
>
> The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know.
> I'll come up and see." She starts up
> the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or
> down?"
>
> The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea
> and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head
> and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful,
> knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll
> come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at
> the door."
> _____________________________________
>
> TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME ***
>
> An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone and
> reported that her car has been broken into. She is
> hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
> "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she
> cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm.. An
> officer is on the way."
>
> A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
> "Disregard..." He says, "She got in the
> back-seat by mistake..."
>
> _____________________________________
>
> I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
> Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
> one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy,
> isn't it?"
>
> "No," the second man replied, "it's
> Thursday..."
>
> And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's
> have a beer."
> _____________________________________
>
>
> SUPERSEX
>
>
> A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
> nursing home. As she walked, she
> would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
> "Supersex..." She walked up to an elderly
> man in a wheelchair flipping her gown at him, she said,
> "Supersex."
>
> He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered,
> "I'll take the soup."
> _____________________________________
>
>
> ROMANCE
>
> An older couple was lying in bed one night. The
> husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic
> mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You
> used to hold my hand when we were courting."
>
>
> Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and
> tried to get back to sleep.
>
> A
> few moments later she said: "Then you used to
> kiss me."
>
> Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the
> cheek and settled down to sleep.
>
> Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to
> bite my Neck."
>
> Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of
> bed.
>
> "Where are you going?" she asked.
>
> "To get my teeth," he replied
> _____________________________________
>
> DOWN AT THE
> RETIREMENT CENTER
>
> 80-year old Bessie
> bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
> holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,"
> Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with
> me tonight!!"
>
> An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out his answer,
> "An elephant?"
>
> Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
> _____________________________________
>
> OLD FRIENDS
>
> Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
> Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
> activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been
> limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
>
>
> One day, they were
> playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
> "Now don't get mad at me.. I know we've
> been friends for a long time but I just can't think of
> your name. I've thought and thought, but I
> can't remember it. Please tell me what your name
> is."
>
> Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes
> she just stared and glared at her.
>
> Finally she said, "How soon do you need to
> know?"
> _____________________________________
>
>
> SENIOR DRIVING
> As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
> phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
> urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news
> that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
> Please be
> careful!"
>
> "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one
> car.... It's hundreds of them!"
> _____________________________________
>
>
> DRIVING
> Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
> could barely see over the dashboard. As they were
> cruising along, they came to an intersection. The
> stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
>
> The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I
> must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went
> through a red light." After a few more minutes,
> they came to another intersection and the light was red
> again. Again, they went right through. The
> woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
> had been red but was really concerned that
> she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
>
> At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
> and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman
> and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran
> through three red lights in a row? You could have
> killed us both!"
>
> Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I
> driving?"
>
>
> Please!!!! TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO
> US!!!!
>
>
>
>
>

beautiful humor, yeah it might but we'd, for the most part, be having a blissfully happy time.

Enjoyed and laughed, humor is what counts...

LOL,Thanks for the laughs.

Hopefully that is not in the future for any of us.

Great Smiles after a busy morning .Happy Thanks giving to all Ed & Carla