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To the right person.......now here is the question

I have been dating a guy.....and I feel confused

I love long skirts....with heels or boots....he says he thinks I should wear shorter skirts...that is what HE likes

He keeps telling me how important the way a woman dresses is very important to him. Nothing revealing....but sexy.
He also tells me how important her weight is to him.....she cannot be over weight..

He keeps telling how important all the "little" things are to him......like......he wants me to send him an e-mail every night before I go to bed...just to let him know I am thinking about him.

He also tells me he is just a "country boy"...then tells me all the things he will not eat......and most of that is the things I love.

He also wants me to know he will not tolerate....the lady he is dating going to dinner or coffee with any other man. Even tho we are not a "couple".

He also tells me he cannot stand a woman wearing PJs to bed....just so I will know.

What kind of man do you think he is???????

posted by annieoak

92 Replies

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Sounds like the guy I dated a couple years ago. Self absorbed, immature, and NOT good relationship material.

posted by HappyinWIBren56
over 2 years ago

He sounds like a man who is full of himself...If he was TELLING me these things, I would be TELLING him to take a hike! I'd be really cautious about opening my heart to someone like this.

posted by Joanne126
over 2 years ago

Each and every one of us has our own idiosyncrasies..quirks, etc, Annie. On one side, it's good that he is bringing them out front so you get to see them early on, but they do seem a little bit much to me. We all have preferences and it is a difficult task to reveal them without appearing to be dictatorial and demanding. Had he phrased them differently perhaps they wouldn't have seemed so abrasive. But, perhaps there were inner doubts within you that were re-enforced by his words. If you felt differently about him they may not have appeared to you as they did. BTW...I prefer shorter skirts too.....but I'm a leg man.

posted by JSant277
over 2 years ago

I agree with JSant...Oh, boy, Annie...what strikes me as odd is not that he told you this stuff, but the way he did it...pretty dogmatic, sounds like...he doesn't sound too adaptable...plus, sounds like he is trying to set the tone of this relationship...HIS way...

posted by lightofday
over 2 years ago

Maybe I should just make my "list".....that might get it done.

posted by annieoak
over 2 years ago

Too controlling for me and I would not give up my favorite foods for anyone - LOL!!!!! All those "rules" would send me running, Annie. The one that scares me the most is giving up my male friends when we are not a couple. Even if we were a couple, I will see whom I choose when I choose. Women in this country are free, or has he not heard we got the right to vote?

posted by jerrysgirl
over 2 years ago

We all have preferences, and probably like to please the people we're with in a relationship if we care enough about them...when it comes to certain things. But when those things become a dictate or they rub me the wrong way, then I have to think twice. I think the fact that you're questioning them means something bothers you.

Personally, the two red flags that would send me running are the requirement to email him every night and the intolerence of coffee or dinner with another person when you're not even a "couple". Does this mean no dinner or coffee with a male friend? Ever? What kind of man does he appear to be? To me he sounds very possessive, controlling and insecure. He has to have things his way or ??

posted by RomWrtrGirl
over 2 years ago

He sounds like a 500% control freak to me, and very, very scary. I'd run as far and as fast as I could to get away from any man who is that controlling.

posted by TornadoWoman
over 2 years ago

Also Annie, these are the rules he has revealed to you up front, what about the ones he hasn't shared with you yet! The rules sound like demands to me not preferences that he is sharing with you.

posted by Joanne126
over 2 years ago

In answer to you question ,,and what you wrote, He is very demanding and immature. You have to ask yourself, Are there other aspects of his personality that make it worth putting up with his immaturity, lack of self confidence, overbearing and controlling personality traits that you describe..It appears to be that he doesn't have any friends or support group. At the first inkling that he tries to isolate you from your friends or family,, I'd dump him in a heartbeat. I'd be very careful,, looks like an abuser,, does he own any wifebeater t shirts ?