Often you read about how women seem to bond much easier than men. We have numerous support systems, we're natural nurturers, etc. This transcends age, race and culture usually. However, what about the bonding between men? Do men bond for different reasons than women? Or is the difference simply the gender?
For instance: men who serve together in war poker buddies bowling leagues frat brothers childhood friends
these examples are just a few...
For the gentlemen in this group, isn't it true that you may have a friend who you feel as close to as a brother, if not closer?
Used to be, but not really anymore. I don't find the time to do the things I used to. I used to enjoy bowling leagues, pool leagues, etc....now.....well, friends come, but mostly go.........
Ok, 2 responses isn't statisticly relevant---we need the rest of you guys to speak up, please? i'm curious about this.
Even tho i value alone time, i also value my friendships greatly. Funny thing is, we were talking about whether men and women could truly be friends and i realized that actually it was male friends that helped me thru a couple of the roughest times in my life not other women. The women provided ongoing emotional support, but in some particular times of crises, it was men friends who kept me sane and functioning.
We all have male and female energy within us, and recognize it to greater or lesser degrees. I feel that the feminine energy is on the rise in both genders. I don't know if men of our generation will feel comfortable admitting to having nurturing relationships with other men, as society has conditioned them otherwise, and old habits are hard to break. But I feel that younger generations of men are not as resistant.
Good points, Barb. i know my sons are more comfortable with nurturing relationships than their father was, or any almost any man i know in our age cohort.
Most of the significant men in my life have been loners that bonded with very few, if any, other males beyond their own male offspring. Interesting to note, however, that all of them bonded with women other than their families fairly easily: their wives friends, women in church or at work.
I was raised in an era when men weren't supposed to show their feelings. So, I never really bonded with other guys. The overwhelming majority of my friends are women. I'm a sensitive kind of guy, and women are generally easier to talk to, and I'm not afraid to show my feelings to a woman. I met a gal on Eons 3 years ago, and we have become very close friends. We talk to each other at least once a day, and we have a bond of love, trust and loyalty between us. Not a romantic relationship, but we have a deep bond between us and we love each other dearly.
I find that unless it involves business of some type, or unless its during a team endeavor, we men simply are not very good at bonding and supporting each other. I'll give you a good example. After my late wife Maggie passed away, when I would talk to women they would always ask me "how are you doing?" or "how are you feeling?" Most men would ask me "are you back to work?" or "are you working?". Glam Diva, you are so right. IF it concerns the battefield, or some kind of competition we men are right there for each other. Soon as the game is over, we seem to go our separate ways. Doowoplover is right. Most of my friends are female, and quite honestly, I wish I did have male friends to bond with. After all, no matter what, men and women do see the world differently and are treated differently.
I have no problem with showing my feelings but guys just don't share a lot of intimate stuff. When I was in my teens we did. We'd talk about girls and sex and smoke cigarettes and drink beer but as I got older, fishing trips or whatever, with guys just didn't have any allure. We talk politics, sports, our children, world and current events but we just don't show what lies beneath the skin. It's even hard for me to do that with a woman much less another guy.
