TODAY... posted about 21 hours ago, updated about 17 hours later Today I buried my father. He was 83 years old, a WW2 combat veteran, and a partially disabled man who worked every day of his life until he was forced to retire. He had Alzhiemer's disease.
I couldn't afford to get him into a decent, private, for-hire nursing home and had to put him on state assistance. He was a proud man and wouldn't have wanted that if he was aware that I had done it. Luckily, he wasn't.
There was a V.A. program, that he was eligible for, that would have funded his entry into a decent for-hire facility, but the V.A. ran me around with red tape and unending forms untill it was too late for my dad to access the program. This is because the V.A. is chock-filled with self-serving pieces of shit whose only concern is their precious beaurocratic jobs. They are less than useless and weren't, and aren't, good enough to breath the same air as my dad. Luckily, this problem has been solved, for my dad, today.
I wrote Senator Kennedy who was working on my dad's case until the time of his own death. I also contacted my congressman but it seems that no one can tell the almighty V.A. what to do, even congressmen and senators.
With this as a backdrop I'd like to offer the following opinions and suggestions. I would like to see the V.A. closed permanently and simply replaced with a credit card that says "V.A." on one side.
A small cadre of retired veterans, and veterans only, would handle any administration needed. All administration would be kept to the barest minimum. Their only job would be to dispense, without question other than veteran's status, monies needed by veterans for health (any hospital, any problem), education (any school the veteran is able to qualify for academically), and housing (co-sign any loan, at any bank, for a modest first home).
If I was President, a Senator, or a Congressman, this is what I'd propose immediately. It would automatically remove duplicitous spending of now precious tax money on clerks and no-talent so-called executives who do everything within their self-serving power to deny benifits to veterans. Ask any veteran what they think of the V.A. if you doubt me.
So, if you agree with me, please call, write, or email your Senator or Congressman and relate this story and any of your own that you might have. My dad drove Higgins boats onto the beaches of Normandy at age seventeen, with bullets wizzing by him, so that you and I could keep the freedom of speech that it took to write this!
My father is a WW2 veteran and he would be on the opposing side of the fence, thinking that veteran or not, you have to save and prepare for the worst financially speaking. He would be horrified to have to depend on his VA benefits at end of life. He was enlisted......not officer.
Hunny, your reaction is grief related and my heart hurts for you. Having lost my mother, you'll just have to trust me that it gets easier with time.......it really does. I swear.
I do think that VA benefits should be expanded for those whose injuries preclude them from making a decent living. Hell.........we're giving monies away at an alarming rate to the less deserved.... surely I can make that one wish, not that it will come to fruition.
I know hardly anything at all about the VA except that they did not help my brother much when he was stricken with a melanoma on his check and in his lymph nodes.
His body is still in constant pain and the VA offer no help. In fact, they try to make him feel guilty for asking for pain medicine and treat him more like a junkie than a cancer patient. My brother is a hard worker but when he does go to seek assistance they say there is nothing further they can do in regard to his pain. They just blow him off.
I had breast cancer myself. I had minimal surgery. I still experience pain after 3 years. The chemo left me with neuropathy and it is debilitating and my feeling is that my brother's cancer was worse than mine. They cut his body every which way to get to those lymph nodes, cutting across muscle and nerves which take forever to heal. I could not go back to work. I lost so much strength from the chemo. My brother could not retire. He was younger than retirement ago. He works all day in the hot sun; no good for a cancer victim. Life can be so unfair; but he keeps on.
I do, however, know about Alzheimer's. My mom is in the last stages. She does not know us. She cannot move or speak or ask for anything. She will be 83 in March. My sister also put her in a state run home. She could no longer keep her at home. During her time at the home she has suffered a broken pelvis, a broken arm. I live in NYC. Since I cannot go personally every day. [I do go about 4 times per year] I send money to hire a caretaker for Mom. At least to give her water. The homes are dreadful. It looks nice and clean but the care is so lacking and tremendously short staffed. Though they deny it. I see nurses aids sitting and watching tv in patient's room. It is amazing what goes on in there when the family is not there. My sister goes every day. They don't even give mom water. I am disgruntled with them as you are with the VA.
I hope your Dad had better care. I can see by your letter that you are in the depths of grief. Like the person above said, it will get better. At this point, Mom is getting so many infections, one right after the other, that I often wonder how much more can her poor little body take. In one way, I feel mom died long ago when she stopped communicating. She just lies there. Once in a while she moves her eyes. I feel I have been in mourning over her condition for a long time. Sometimes, I have no idea what to pray for. I settle on that, God's will be done.
I am only writing to commiserate with you. This side of your sorrow, I understand, Again my condolences. Hope
JR , I am sorry for your loss also . Like all bureaucracies , the VA bureaucrats are interested primarily in their own continuance in their useless jobs . It seems like the VA has pretty consistently been on the wrong side , fighting against veterans about Agent Orange , presiding over the disgrace at Walter Reed , and generally seeking to stall , deny , or reduce almost every legitimate claim for their services . Men who have sacrificed so much for this country desrve to be treated better . I agree that veterans should not get a free pass on everything , but AT THE VERY LEAST conditions that they have which were brought about by their service in the armed forces should be treated properly .
Thank you for posting this, Jr and sincere condolences on your loss. I agree that we need to put a spotlight on what kind of treatment our Veterans are getting and not getting. I've had some wonderful and talented people in my life who left much too soon and spent their last days in terrible pain because of the lack of support from the V.A for cancer caused by Agent Orange. I will join you in calling for change so that this red tape BS is done away with and our veterans can get the help they need.
@ MissCellaneous: You wrote, "My father is a WW2 veteran and he would be on the opposing side of the fence, thinking that veteran or not, you have to save and prepare for the worst financially speaking. He would be horrified to have to depend on his VA benefits at end of life. He was enlisted......not officer." Has it ever occurred to you that there are many factors that could prevent someone from having the funds to allow them the luxury of living out their days in a private-pay nursing facility? Catastrophic illness can wipe a person's finances out overnight. A loss of a good job can clean out a life-savings in a short time and you might not be young enough or healthy enough to re-coup your losses.
I agree that the VA, like most, if not all, government bureaucracies, is a mess and that most of our elected officials at all levels (with the exception of Sen. Patty Murray, D-WA and maybe a very few others) don't give a rat's ass about veterans. Maybe it's time to start encouraging veterans to run for office. I'd suggest that being a veteran should be a prerequisite for running for office, but then I think about how inept some of those vets were in office. But, then, the ones I'm thinking of were officers. Let's encourage the vets who did the real work -- the non-coms and plain old grunts, swabbies, jarheads, etc. -- to run for those offices!
@JrWilbur: I'm sincerely sorry for your loss and for the frustration you endured getting proper care for your dad. I often wonder if what happed to your dad isn't going to be what happens to me in the not too distant future.
My condolences to you for your loss. Writing to politicians for help sounds like sinking lower than expecting help from a government agency. Luckily, I don't have any "serious" problems other than constant pain in various parts of the body. My recent experiences with VA healthcare have been positive. The last time I saw my civilian doctor, he apologized for a mistaken diagnosis. The VA doctors have been thorough and professional although they seem to take a lot for granted. If you're breathing...you must be ok. Actually, that might not be a bad attitude.
This is such sad news. I believe that if you are terminally ill, pain management is the most humane thing a doctor can do.
I know this doesn't help your situation, but there is a program through VA called VA Foster Care. I don't have the literature right now. In essence, a veteran or a veteran and his/her spouse can apply to be considered for a foster family at the time the veteran is not able to care for his/her own needs entirely. The veteran lives with the foster family or a single person, who has a desire to assist veterans. It may be a veteran in good health, a person who has lost a veteran or anyone with compassion for our nation's war heros. There is a staff person involved, and payment comes from the veteran's stipend.
Iowa has this program, and there are more applicants wanting foster care than there are people who know and are able to be a foster provider at this time. The care given is in the foster person's own home. It is expected that the veteran will just become a part of the family.
It is a possible solution or partial solution for many of America's veterans. They went into battle for us. It's time we accept that they are actually here among us.
