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This is a great topic, Iloveart! I do have trouble letting go, especially with a couple of extended family members. We don't get together with them so this is mostly an "inner process" for me.
The most difficult one for me is my brother, who sided with my father during a bitter divorce between our parents. Although my father has since died, my mother is still living and he will not see or communicate with he. In fact, he and his wife have even biased their son who no longer will see his grandmother, and they had a daughter a few years ago whom my mother has never met.
I know it should not be the details that matter in forgiveness but it really affects me that this must hurt my mother, even though she has apparently "let go of it", at least in talking or dwelling on it.
Any ideas are welcome..Thanks!

This is a tough one. Some instances are easier than others. Right now I'm dealing with my dad having a lady friend now that mom has passed away. He's known her for a while, and in reality mom closed dad off years ago. So I can undersand his need for love and companionship - it's just hard for us kids since we haven't fully grieved mom's passing.

But there's some things that have to be let go - and move on. Dad and his friend give us the freedom to grieve mom and be open about it. It's a struggle - yet I need to take the high road in this and allow dad his happiness. I don't always do it right - and I know I have that freedom also.

This month is especially hard as it's the month of mom and dad's anniversary, mom's birthday, the start of the holiday season, and in January the first anniversary of mom's passing. A long road ahead. And I know we'll make it through.

Those holidays are very hard and the reminders are all around us. My heart is with both of you during these trying times.The first years were so hard without my dear mother and I missed her so very much.
Brooge:
Your brother must first come to terms with the idea that no matter what he thinks or does, he could not have changed or altered events. This was not his problem but your parent's problems. He must be in so much pain and missing his mother so very much to keep all of this going. He keeps her attention on him this way. I have no answers other than you and your mom must continue on your path and he will eventually find you.