Oh yes......I think most of us have some of that....one way or the other.....the unfinished business I have is not something I will talk about...but it's there and I am working on it. I am in the process of letting go and accepting the fact that it will never be that way again.

the sub-terrain guy (ie basement guy) estate is in final accounting, its been 3 years I had to deal with this as well as money out of my pocket. It has not stopped me from living or moving forward but its a chapter in my book that needs be final. Financially im basically having to start over.

Having lost a wife to cancer, I know what its like to have to let go and move on. Its a very difficult thing to do. It takes time and the mourning process goes through phases. The timing of that process is different for everyone. I think it was three to four years before I could really start letting go.

Facing one's "unfinished business" can be extremely difficult and a gut wrenching process. No one wants to deal with all the emotions and memories that are involved in cleaning up the past. I think it is one of the most courageous things a person can do. As housemanj47 has said it can take years to even bring yourself to start the process. It helps if you have a therapist or couselor but if you don't journaling can be quite effective. Ultimately, your reward will be the freedom to truly move forward with your life again. It can sometimes be the equivalent of getting a new lease on life, and you will be giving the next person you become involved with a very precious gift.

I am a widow who's husband had cancer. I would say that you almost welcome their death so as to not see them suffer anymore. He was still alive, but barely and just there in the bed. I woke every morning to his closet of clothes...I got up one morning and started to take them out, then stopped, because he was still there and although not there(sort of in a comatose state) I put them back in and waited until after his funeral. I have had lots of issues to deal with, mostly about the things that came up with my son that he had been allowing him ot do that was not right nor good for him. I was angry...and I realized that I felt abandoned...I dont know why, but I did. I probably would have divorced him had it not been for his illness. So the abandonment issue was a strange one. I dont go to the grave yard to see anyone. The way I feel is they are not there, so why do I go look at dirt, grass, and a stone? That is just me, I know others that go and talk...I suppose each one has to deal with it how they want or feel they should. I have now replaced almost everything that I had with something different meaning furniture and such. I have some that I had before we married, but most everything here is new. Its like I got rid of the memories and it makes me feel good. Each has to deal in there own way is what I am trying to get at.