...finally. David won almost every fantasy sport he was involved in, and he cherished his trophies. I got rid of the 2nd & 3rd place trophies a long time ago, but there were still about 30 1st place trophies - that I was getting terribly tired of dusting.
I hadn't planned to throw them out - at least today - but there I was, doing the deed. And surprisingly it felt good. It was freeing. I've rearranged the 'stuff' in the family room, and David's still there, but no more trophies to dust!
I feel like I am moving forward - and it feels good! (Now to just make it through the holidays...)
If it made you feel better, then it was a good thing. What is a first place trophy for a fantasy sport?
I feel like I've done good if I clear out the years of old OTC medicines we have in the cupboard! I haven't ventured into the personal stuff, yet.
Someone here, sorry I forgot who, said that they gave old coats and jackets to people who need them -- I think I should get serious about that now that the weather is turning a bit cooler.
Mike, I said that last year... probably a few others, as well. Yesterday one of my neighbors had a yard sale... I took the last of Gary's jeans over and the neighbors divvied them up between them. So, there I was, standing around with a bunch of neighbors, two of them wearing Gary's jeans, two of them wearing his old jackets.... was sorta weird, but much better than seeing them stacked up in the spare bedroom doing no-one any good.
Marty - CONGRATULATIONS !!! It really was a huge step and in all honesty, you may have a moment of regret here and there, but they were just "things"... things that may have meant the world to David, but were just 'dustables' to you. It was a small step, but a huge victory....
One small step in front of the next.... we will get through it, so long as we keep moving forward.
I hope everyone has a good day today - it is beautiful here (finally - it rained ALL WEEK). Big (((HUG))) to everyone !!!
Congratulations Marty. You did it when it felt OK to you. That is how we must do these things.
I finally sold Can's car a couple of weeks ago (when I was very sick with the flu, but that is how it goes). I felt good about it. I couldn't drive it and the young family man who bought it was excited about having a very good car to drive his kids around in.
That has motivated me to start preparing to sell the piano. The holiday season might be the best time, if someone with more money than I have wants to buy a piano as a gift.
These things have to be done. We have to make our own lives. However, we can keep the things that we need to. I found can's favorite cologne yesterday. I'm going to keep that little bottle and take a whiff whenever I need to feel close to him.
Congratulations, Marty. That is a step forward. I have been able to part with more "things". Mostly things that I knew would help others. His jackets though (he loved jackets) I put in a pile to doante and had to pull them back out and hang them back up. All in good time. I'm glad you are feeling good about this. Deb
Marty, I know how hard it is to move forward. We want to keep them with us. Those of us who are in this group will always keep our beloveds.near. We must also survive and that means dealing with today and tomorrow. We can't have it the way it was. That's gone and they moved on. We must do that as well. Survival for me means learning to toss the unimportant stuff out of the lifeboat and knowing what is essential to take with me.
Marty - that was a very good step forward - and obviously a good example of "knowing" when the time is right.
I too am moving forward a little, I have had my storage space for a week, and finally, on Friday, decided to take a few things there, but what ! In the end I cleard a unit that I wanted to use in our bedroom, but which contained Richard's sheet and book music. So, even tho' it was pouring with rain, blowing a gale, and Friday the 13th !! I ventured out and moved his sheet music to the store. I intend to let two of his friends have most of the music, but now I can decide away from home who gets what (that's the theory).
I think it's going to be a long slog to get things to be less chaotic - but, like Marty, I've started.
Denny I like your idea of tossing aside unimportant "stuff" to ensure the lifeboard stays afloat - I think that's going to help me.
Once again Marty - so much less dusting as well !! Jeanette xx
It is so hard to give those "treasures" up, isn't it! It feels like losing more of the person, but that isn't really true. It's time to let go. Today a young friend is coming to my place to see if there's anything in my husband's "shop" in the garage that he can use. He is a handyman and does lots of maintenance jobs for family and friends, just to be helpful. He doesn't have a good selection of tools. I hope he can use lots of the jars and cans of nails that I've found out there, as well as some of the surplus tools, and things I have no idea how to use or whether they work or not. Maybe he can advise me what to throw away. My sons have what they need and tell me to do what I think best with the rest. It's not easy to know what to do.
I'll add my congratulations to this step that you (and others here) have taken toward healing and moving from sorrow to embracing life. Remember, as I tell myself often, life is really a gift from God to us and we need to do what we can to embrace the joy in the everydayness of it. I'm watching the neighbor's puppy exploring his yard as I write and it's a bright spot for me at this moment. Puppies know how to enjoy life! Nancy
Congrats Marty! Yes, it's hard, I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, getting rid of things he took so long to collect and store. But I need to get more room and rid of things I have no use for. I also had lots of power tools but gave mostly all of it away to a young couple who were robbed while trying to renovate an old house they bought. I should've gotten rid of more, sooner. This weekend I found a bunch of batteries and a couple of cordless handtools. I did't know batteries went "bad' if not kept charged. Now I have to pitch the stuff when someone might have liked to have it earlier. Ah, well, anyway, congrats Marty :)
Marty, what a giant step forward. The best part of it was how it made you feel. I feel like I am stuck in cement but you have inspired me. I am bringing Jim's coats to Goodwill on Friday. Moving forward is so hard but you are doing it! Joyce
