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I think divorce is like any other crisis or transition - it will probably get worse before it gets better. But, the fact that you have taken some action to get yourself out of a no-win situation is a step toward things being better for you right there. Restoring oneself to "sanity" should always be a goal of divorce recovery. It feels so good when life starts to look "normal" again. Long term you may feel that you are worse off especially if finances are tight and you are feeling lonely but don't look at that as a negative. It is just something that you may have to endure for awhile.

I agree, financially, both parties really have to tighten up the budgets in order to get through a divorce. It isn't often that both can continue living in the style to which they have become accustomed. Emotionally, it takes time to get over the heartache and disillusionment and get back on track, too.

Right now it's a struggle, lost my job, have a mortgage to pay, hoping things turn around soon. Being married hubby had a wonderful job, I had a full time job, we had a house together near the beach, now I live in a tiny condo. But....I look at things in a positive way, this is all just a minor setback and as soon as I find work, then my bf and I can look for a small house. One baby step at a time.

Yes, divorce makes you dirt poor, that is for sure.

I would like to make a comment I was married for 30 years and thought things were okay for a long time. We were friends in the begining and then things changed. I am still not sure what went wrong because in the end everything I thought was good in the marriage was slowly distroyed by my ex. I hung in there thinking that things would change but the only thing that happened was he got a chance to even make my memory of our wedding day ugly. In the end we never worked towards the future because he would drink and dwell in the past. I just started to shut down completely because he never really gave me a chance to talk and get my feelings out it was always about him and what he was thinking about. My only regret is that some how I let him do this until I was almost completely invisible or so I felt most of time.

I finially woke up and realized if continued to go on like this I would be unhappy for the rest of my life plus my health was suffering. I felt horrible most of the time the only thing that was good in my life was my 4 children and they could see how miserable I was so when I finially got the guts to file for divorce it was no big surprise to anyone.

You would think that after 30 years I would miss something but the only thing I feel now is I can breath now with out it hurting. Financially I am probably better off because now the only debt that I have is my mortgage and a car payment. Our debt was split in half and even while we were going through the divorce process I was paying things off. When I do allow myself to look back I get angry at myself mostly because I feel like I wasted a lot of time being miserable. What think you should do is examine what you have now are you happy or with work can you be happy and then do what makes your heart and soul happy.

This Feb. I will be divorced for 2 years and I feel it was the best dicission I made in a long time. Life is short and what good is it if you can't be happy.

Thank you, Nan....I needed to hear that today. I am still waiting out my finalization (Dec. 2) and I woke up kind of "down" --- I don't really want to do all this on my own..........I think I am better off financially to a point. There are threats to my job right now and it is making me very, very anxious. Will I be able to make it? I was married for 35 years and always thought of myself as the "second" income. Now I am it...........I am trying to be strong and faithful, but I think today will be hard.

Much better off!