Someone suggested on one of the dating related groups (I forget which one) that older women may not be as sexually active because of body image issues. I agree. At our age, especially if we had a nice body as a younger woman, it gets harder to expose to a lover our sagging breasts, our menopausal pot belly, our widening thighs, and those flabby underarms -- all natural effects of the loss of estrogen and aging. But, even as a young woman, every man I dated (I mean every one), always suggested I could look better, firmer, thinner, etc. What a mind fuck!
So guys, if you want us to have more sex with you, you better say nice things about how we look. Especially because most of you have body issues, too!
You are sooooooo right levisa.......I get so tired of everything being judged on looks. I wonder if the men can see themselves.......I've had some really pop gutted guys say "I want a slim..good looking woman" sure he does. He just can't see himself. We are all getting older...fact of life....and we will never ever have the bodies we once had....that doesn't change who we are on the inside. I believe that all of us need to look the very best we can....and that means taking care of ourselves....but the young hard body is long gone.
OMG, Levisa, I could write you a book! I was never perfect even when I was young. I was always "too". Too tall...too heavy....too chesty....too broad-shouldered. I have never known a skinny day in my life. My weight has gone up and down, but I'm now pretty comfortable with my battle with the pounds. I'm fitting into clothes I haven't worn in years. Being tall, I can carry a few extra pounds. But I'm all too aware of the criticisms and comments you hear everywhere about how you look. The tv and magazines are crammed with anti-aging, anti-fat propaganda....trying to convince us all we should look like Angelina Jolie. My Lord.....when they accuse Jessica Simpson and Jessica Love Hewitt of being "fat"!! I should be so lucky!! So, yes....I'm scared to death of getting into an intimate relationship. I don't need someone else to tell me I'm not what I used to be; I know it all too well. I don't think my fragile psyche could handle it. I certainly know I would not consider it conducive to feeling sexy and amorous. I have never been in love with a man who was built like Hugh Jackman. And they were young at the time. It's never mattered to me. But I am all too aware of how it matters to them.
If someone says things like that to me, I remind myself that HE has issues. Not me. My body is what it is and if you don't like it, too damn bad. But the man who doesn't have issues, well, he is a very happy man! So all the men (and women too) who keep waiting around for that perfect body is doing nothing but waiting while I am having a wonderful time.
I have seen several ads lately that men are stating that they want a woman under 100 pounds with red hair or a brunette no taller them 5'2". These are men in their 50's and 60's and they want women in their age group supposedly, but they all fail to have photos showing how their body looks. A relationship is about what is inside, not the outer wrapping. I take care of myself and I am physically fit and in good health. BTW most of the women who I know who fit what they say they want have been life-long vegetarians. I am not too sure how many men would be interested.
I guess I got lucky over the years. I never had a guy suggest to me I should be anything other than what I was. When I was younger and stupid enough to ask stupid questions like, "Do you think I need to lose a few pounds?", all I ever got was mystified looks and an appraisal of my bod like they hadn't actually seen it before, and a curt, "No. Why?" and they went back to whatever it was they were doing.
I discovered long ago that guys are not as nearly concerned about the size of our thighs as with what is between them. We obsess on bodily perfection because we are taught that by the media. I take a page from my R.H.'s book. Back many many years ago, he was very overweight with a big gut. He would stand sideways to the mirror, putting the gut at its worst angle, pat it proudly and say, "Yep. Looking good." AND HE MEANT IT! Hahahahaha. He felt he looked just fine.
Well, I look just fine too. And if some guy doesn't think so, he can just move on down the line and find someone he thinks looks just fine. OK by me. I got better things to worry about.
I have a friend in Illinois that I've known for over 25 years. He used to be married to one of my girlfriends. He has been married and divorced 3 times. He's been alone now for several years. His last wife was half his age. Now he's crying the blues because he's alone.....but he won't even consider anyone his age. And they have to have, in his words, "a kick-ass body". He stands 5'8", has an artificial hip, bad back, cervical problems in his neck, and gout, to mention just a few. Just how does he figure he rates a 30-something gal with a great bod? He doesn't even have a bank account to compensate for his weaknesses in other areas. What's in it for her? Should she forego other healthy guys in her age bracket, to take care of a sick old man who lives on Disability? Is he nuts??? What are men thinking??
Marti you are so right, Ive never had anyone tell me I was too tall, to thin, to fat etc... (btw men dont care about color of bras and underwear matching etc they just want it off). Men that tell a woman what he see is wrong with her has a big controlling problem and its his way of demeaning her. I know wonderful men who see themselves as "older" men with all the same issues we have as we get older. And are not looking for a young woman, but I know of one guy on EONS that said older women do not have the "moves" in bed that a younger woman have (I didnt know gymnastics in bed was a requirement). I think a lot of men that date younger women are trying to re-live their youth, they married young, had children, divorced and now want to "sow" their oats, not with someone their age, but someone that makes them feel like a stud (including the little blue pill) arm candy. Not all men out there are looking for a child-like bride... there are men our age that want women our age you just have to step over the toads to get to the prince.
