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About me: really quick, I was married for 25 years and thought our marriage was great and would last forever, but my husband found a honey online - just about our daughter's age. After a lot of lies and pain, I went to a lawyer, and we were divorced. The disrespect and deceit of that whole time was just too much for me to countenance.

Today, I'm happy. It was a lot to let go of that 25 years, but it was necessary for me. I like being commander of my own ship. There is a lot of life after divorce!

Hi Barbara. Yes, there is a lot of life after divorce and it sounds like you've moved on with it well.

I've been married since 1972 and we separated almost 4 1/2 years ago. I downloaded divorce papers from online to file at that time, but I haven't wanted to do it for financial reasons. I've got do it because it's a hardship on me to have to keep spending all my money on rent, and I want to move on with my life. I am hoping we'll be able to cooperate so that we can do it through a mediator without a court trial. I've read that 97% of the divorces get settled before trial anyway. We had no children and the home he is living in is paid for. I know he doesn't feel that I am entitled to half, but I was there for him for many years and that home was part of my dream too.

I'm hoping that anyone who has been divorced recently through mediation will share their experience.

I was married for 15 years, but together with the same man for 21, got divorced about 5 years ago. He is a good man, treated me well....but I did not feel we were a good match, I just wish I'd realized this before we got married, it would have saved alot of heartache.

My divorce is close to being final --- December 2nd being the day --- after 35 years of marriage. He also found someone else aboout 1 1/2 ago through his acting in the Renaissance Fairs -- which I used to do as well but gave up about 9 years ago --- ironic, huh?

I'm with BarbaraLibra --- I feel much more in control and happier to a point. There are things I miss, but those feelings will pass soon, I think.

We divorced using a "collaborative" --- although we were able to complete the process fairly quckly, (3 meetings) I thought it was very expensive. Each person had an attorney and a "divorce coach" - The attorney's office came equipped with a paralegal and clerical staff - which you also get to pay for their time!

I was asked by a friend just today if I would recommend the collaborative process, and I would have to say no --- there has to be an easier way --- even for couples married as long as we were.

My husband of 18 years and I were separated, which was quite lovely for me. My idea. Then he had a bad motorcycle accident in the beginning of May and suffered brain injury. He has no family to take care of him, so I brought him back home to my house to do caretaking duty. It is all in my blogs if you want more details.

Anyway, he still is not able to live alone, and it is not clear whether that will ever be a possibility, but at least he is now pleasant to live with, and all his crap that eroded my joie de vivre has disappeared, so if this is it, I can live with this.

We were married 20 years this past September. Neither one of us remembered the anniversary. We just go day to day.

Sweetsheila, if you don't mind my asking, when you say collaborative divorce was very expensive, can you shed some more light on the cost? There is an attorney near me who quotes $1400 for seven hours, most meetings being about 2 hours maximum. The filing and other fees are additional.

Marti, you are a "good and kind-hearthed" person. Someone else whould have said goodby to him since you had already separated.

Same as Luneib above. Thinking about a separation. I don't know about a divorce because my husband will be left without insurance and he does not have any. After much arguments and name calling and the main thing for me is "incompatibility at all levels. I also wish I had thought about this when I was 27 years old and getting married. I was lonely in my studio apartment and he was my only friend here in New York. Unfortunately, one thing lead to another and now I realize that it does not make any sense to continue in a relationship where I cannot say he is my friend and I really appreciate him. He is not a bad person, he is paying most of the household expenses while I can save and go shopping, but I don't think that is that is needed. Of course, my friends, think I am foolish to even think of a divorce because financially they are having a hard time. Time will tell, I just hope it is for the best. It does not pay to grow old and miserable when you have nothing in common with your partner, except two kids.

That's kind of the place where I was, Celmira. I finally decided I would rather be poor, alone and happy than have money and be miserable with him. So I left. And I was happy. Well, it is easier being poor in Mexico than in the US. Everybody is poor here. lolol.

I separated from my husband of 22 years in June. He filed for divorce in August. He is not a bad person, but not easy going or generous of spirit. I think I compromised more than was good for me and since he was more dominant, it was harder for me to be assertive in my marriage. From the day I met him, it was his plan to retire young and live in a dream home the rest of his life. I tried to make it my plan as well. I went along with it because I thought it would work and because he wanted it so badly. I always wanted to stay happily married to this man because I wanted to be married and I chose him. I wanted to stay. But when the dream became a reality, I was so unhappy, lonely and miserable. Certain circumstances caused us to physically separate for awhile and I found that I did not miss him much and did not miss living in our dream home and really didn't want to move back. I asked God to lead me, which was a first for me also. I applied for my job back and through series of events, I actually was offered three jobs in 2009 (pretty nice feeling, considering the economy).

I had hoped he and I could try to work on our marriage through counseling, even though he had always refused in the past. Even when I took the drastic step of walking out the door in June, he still would not consider counseling. We spoke the other day about various things, and he asked if I was considering coming back to live with him. Didn't say he was going to change, or be any different, or do anything to make things better between us. Just if I wanted to come back. I don't want to come back and it is very painful to say that because I wanted to stay married and I can't.

I am busy with work, busy with still moving in to my own place, trying to stay busy with outside activities and friends. But there is a hole in my life and friends don't fill it up. I am gaining back the weight I lost and am not making time to exercise. Money is not a big problem for me since I am making a good living at my job and he and I had signficant assets to split.

He is lonely but he also set his life up in a way that he never had friends. That was something that I felt was missing in our life together. He would say that I was his only friend and I'd say that he was not enough for me.

He came up with a division of property plan the week I was packing to move in June. He filed for divorce in August. He wants it behind him as soon as possible. He wants to find a "soulmate" as soon as possible. I think he wants someone who will adapt their life to his but I don't think he will marry again or give his whole heart to anyone. I think he is hoping to find a needier version of me.

We are working with a mediator but not at my husband's pace, we are going at my pace. It may end up turning out pretty close to what he suggested orginally, but it will be because I have done my 'due diligence' and make the marital settlement agreement from a position of strength, not because he bullied me into something I wasn't ready for. He calls himself more decisive. I call him more rigid. Both are true.

Our 20 year old son had gone to Basic Training in June also. We told him about the divorce at his graduation in August. He was not surprised and didn't seem sad.