That's an excellent quote, Marti.
Yes, I've been there. It is easy to move forward when things are going as we want them to.
When our plans and routines and comfort zones get disrupted, we don't like it at all and going with the flow is harder to do. Yet the flow keeps going - and if we keep resisting, it will only wear us down.
I totally agree with you Barb and Marti. I used to think that I had my life planned, but so many things (good and bad) have happened along the way that really now, I am more into living one day at a time. That plus having a tremendously strong faith in God gets me through everyday, sometimes by the skin of my teeth. It's almost always a wild ride....
Let's see -- my plan -- marriage, houseful of kids, loving family surrounding me,
Divorced after 13 years, childless . . . It took 10 years of floundering around to finally start accepting a new life and future. Yes, I held on to the old plan, or rather, to the vacuum that it left, for a long time. Guess I'm stubborn that way. (some might have less kind words to substitute for "stubborn".)
But, it's good to be on the way to completing a new plan.
These two messages are so good - wish with all my heart I could do!!!!!
I am blessed in many areas, health, children, grandchildren, etc. - but I just had a 30th anniversary - forgot it until husband reminded - I don't have a lot of joy about the 30 years - still trying to make it be what I thought it was - this is second marriage - first lasted 24 years -married less than a year after divorce - this was probably intended to be a ralationship with a lot of life lessons - happened after a vulnerable time - loss of a son, etc. - I truly love this husband - but I love what I thought he was - or could be - Oh, he is a politician (smile) thanks for listening - I am not as unhappy as I sound - just disappointed in myself - feel that God had a better plan -
I understand some of what you're saying, Joydrew. My own husband didn't continue to be or become the person I expected when we were dating. It's hard to let go of the expectation or even to know if letting go is what you need to do. What about self-fulfilling prophecy -- people becoming what they are told they will become? (I know, this is usually applied to children.)
I did finally learn that I had to be responsible for myself; he was responsible for what he chose to make of himself and it wasn't my job to shape and form him -- that was God's job.
Is it possible for you to make a decision to fall in love with the real person you are married to?
I think it's pretty common for us women to fall in love with a man's potential. We think we can mold them to be our ideal ..and then the reality sets in that it is not our job to change anyone but our own fine selves, and we usually learn that the hard way.
It's natural to have those times when we reflect on the past and feel disappointed about some things. Looking at the good things and expressing our gratitude for them daily is a good habit to get into, to help get us going again, taking the focus off the disappointments and putting focus on the good, and striving toward the better :) It takes effort to keep a long term relationship from becoming one of indifference.
