Same-sex marriage should be illegal.
(This is a letter to the editor from the summer issue of Ms. Magazine... I love it!!)
The idea of it is disgusting, disturbing and depressing. There are so many kinds of sex available to humankind; it is unthinkable that a couple would have the SAME sex night after night with no variety thrown in. Just the missionary position, with no oral sex, no doggie-style sex, no strap-sex or tantric sex or vibrator sex or gentle sensual sex or sex outdoors or screaming multi-orgasmic crazy sex--how WRONG! This is simply not what God intended when he made sex. Gendersis 3:178 clearly states, "Go ye forth and have sex in all its glorious varieties, and have fun doing it." Couples found to be having same sex should be prosecuted to the fullest extent under the law. After paying a fine or serving a sentence, guilty couples should take mandatory classes instructing them in different sexual method, taught by gay and lesbian couples, who are unlikely to have either same sex or marriages. Enforcement, admittedly, may be difficult, but with the USA Patriot Act having legalized spying on private citizens without warrants, nothing is impossible. A government task force comprised, again, of gay and lesbian couples should monitor a random population of Americans in their bedrooms with hidden cameras. Hidden microphones and speakers could also be quite useful. A lesbian baritone voice suddenly booming from behind a houseplant, "I see that you are in the missionary position again -- you are under arrest!" could be quite jolting and serve as a helpful wake-up call to same-sex perpetrators. Please call your congressperson today. We have watched same-sex marriages go unpunished for too long. It's time to act!
The idea of it is disgusting, disturbing and depressing. There are so many kinds of sex available to humankind; it is unthinkable that a couple would have the SAME sex night after night with no variety thrown in. Just the missionary position, with no oral sex, no doggie-style sex, no strap-sex or tantric sex or vibrator sex or gentle sensual sex or sex outdoors or screaming multi-orgasmic crazy sex--how WRONG! This is simply not what God intended when he made sex. Gendersis 3:178 clearly states, "Go ye forth and have sex in all its glorious varieties, and have fun doing it." Couples found to be having same sex should be prosecuted to the fullest extent under the law. After paying a fine or serving a sentence, guilty couples should take mandatory classes instructing them in different sexual method, taught by gay and lesbian couples, who are unlikely to have either same sex or marriages. Enforcement, admittedly, may be difficult, but with the USA Patriot Act having legalized spying on private citizens without warrants, nothing is impossible. A government task force comprised, again, of gay and lesbian couples should monitor a random population of Americans in their bedrooms with hidden cameras. Hidden microphones and speakers could also be quite useful. A lesbian baritone voice suddenly booming from behind a houseplant, "I see that you are in the missionary position again -- you are under arrest!" could be quite jolting and serve as a helpful wake-up call to same-sex perpetrators. Please call your congressperson today. We have watched same-sex marriages go unpunished for too long. It's time to act!
