Sassy, it isn't about wasting 5 months, I felt that way after ending my 8 year relationship, it's about not wasting anymore time.
Plenty of fish in the sea, Sassy. So you hooked one that wasn't a keeper. Four days doesn't allow one to get into a hot and heavy relationship with someone else. Sounds like he's been slipping around for awhile and to 'neither confirm nor deny'? He's taking the 5th? What a slimy weasel. I'm not to tell someone else what to do, but I'd toss that slimy fish back in the sea and keep on fishin'. That one sounds like a real lousy catch.
I have to agree with the general feelings here. If he's 'hot and heavy' with someone else in only a four day lapse in your relationship, then he's not worthy of you. Not to mention a criminal background, even if it was for something small. You can do LOTS better! And you deserve lots better! Time to cut this loser loose...
I also wonder why he became so defensive about his Facebook page. You put it out there and don't expect people to find you? It seems as if he was trying to turn this around and make it just your problem. Another red flag.
You had your fun,found him out,now avoid him like the plague before you become part of his criminal record.
Warning, Will Robinson, Warning! Danger! Danger! This guy is soo much of a loser - Let's see. Has a Facebook page that shows he has a criminal convictions, albeit "minor" whatever that is, DUIs? Thefts? "minor" violence? Bad checks? None are GOOD signs. Then gets mad and tries to make YOU feel like YOU'VE done something wrong, and in the 4 days that you are "off", but still communicating and trying to work things out, he's "hot and heavy" with someone else? Oh dear, you haven't lost 5 months, you've gotten lucky enough to find out before you've lost your heart, your finances, your self esteem ... I'm sorry. I know it hurts. You're not overreacting. If someone isn't treating your right (and not telling you about a criminal history when you've been dating for 5 months, trying to turn the tables by accusing you of checking him out - apparently, you would have been well advised to do so to begin with, and then getting hot and heavy with someone else while "working on things" with you is NOT treating you right!) I'm with the rest - kick this one to the curb. You don't need a man so badly that you should be willing to overlook all of this...
We all kiss some frogs every now and then....don't worry about looking stupid to anyone...our gut usually tells us when things don't feel right.
You all are absolutely right. I didn't check him out. It never crossed my mind to. But I sure will in the future. The fact is, he was very nice and all that. It was a DUI which in trying to be open minded, could happen to anyone.
And I guess it was not a waste of time. With my work schedule, I could only see him sometimes only once a week. It's just discouraging. Not having been in the dating arena, gosh what you have to look out for today is incredible. Hugs to everyone....
sorry i missed this earlier .. but my opinion is ( and this is just an opinion now mind you ) if he had anything in his past he should have been forthcomming about it .. maybe not on the first date .. you don't just meet someone and say hi .. i have a dui on my record .. i'm not really even sure when the right time to divulge that kinda stuff is but i'd think after 5 months that should be long enough .. but i think the best time to come clean is when you both decide to become an item .. up till then you're just friends tryin to figure out what it is you both want or even like about each other .. i don't think it should be a race .. the more time the better .. and as far as the new girl goes well sometimes when you talk too much it can ruin a good relationship .. in other words if he told you every minute detail it could haunt you .. and your relationship .. if it were me and i broke up with a girl and met someone else i'd be as honest as i could and tell her yes i met another girl and we had a date and leave it at that .. but if i knew i truly cared for her i'd tell her yeah i did date another woman .. but she's not you and you have nothin to worry about because its you i really want to be with .. but thats hard to say if you don't really mean it .. i'd think paramount in his mind would be to set your mind at ease if it was somethin that really bothered you .. that is if he's in tune with you .. as far as you lookin him up and findin this stuff out you have every right to know whats public info on someone you have over your house and in your life .. this guy is more than just the maytag repair man .. and if he balks about that then you have every right to ask why you had to find out the way you did.. just my opinion ..
5 months, he should already have confided most of that with you, especially in an exclusive relationship, Doesn't want you facebooking him,
hell I tell my dates my life history on the first two dates wether they want to hear it or not! lol
but I'm not normal,
other than that "what Frenchie said"
and Bonnie I'm sorry I wasn't online to answer your question earlier I'm sure you have resolved the problem by now
I have been doing the nerves and fear thing myself with my girlfriend of 3 1/2 months.
Hope you went with your gut !
