I agree with fella's advice as well.
posted by Rcajun
about 1 month ago
Fella gives great advice. It was one of the reasons I was so happy that he agreed to be one of our moderators! (Besides the fact that he's a chick magnet lol). And that was BEFORE the furniture, fella!!!
Here is another possibility HB. Maybe he is afraid that if he starts dating you right away someone from work might find out. Other people may think he was dating you while you were still working there, which is against the rules, and that that was the reason you quit. Maybe he feel it is too soon and could jeopardize his job right now.
I have found that when a man is really interested in a woman, he usually will persue her relentlessly until he gets where he wants to go. If you have to persue him, he really may not be interested romantically. I would back off and give him some time and space, and if he doesn't come around, you're probably better off to forget about him.
Oh you bet, Patti (and everyone). I have no intention of doing more than I have....he knows he's free to write or contact me. I am not going to demean myself or make a pest of myself.
The ball's in his court now, although I'm beginning to doubt he'll volley....
All good advice, reasons and thoughts. I agree the ball is in his court HB. Although, just to throw in a thought, what fella said is a real possibility. The man just might be very shy about asking anyone out. Does he date at all? If not, could be a reason. If you have asked him in a very casual open ended way, out for a date and got no response, then I would suspect he is just interested in friendship. But, if you haven't.....this day in time, we women are not expected to sit at home by the phone waiting for it to ring. At our age, we are equals in many things. If I have gotten to know someone over time and would like to have a date, I see no reason why not make the first move with a light hearted, would you like to go to dinner, if not that is ok.....(just me) If turned down, don't take it personal. I don't especially see it as demeaning yourself. And I doubt very seriously you have made a pest of yourself. :) I agree to some degree with pattikake...men like to pursue but I also think, men find it flattering if they know you are interested enough to ask them out. Just some thoughts...........
HB, you aren't going anywhere so things can progress at the pace they are meant to. If it works out and you two become closer friends - because you are already friends - that would seem nice for both of you. If not, it is probably not meant to be. Either way, you and he have no hard feelings.
I like your thinking Blossom. I do not think asking him out is demeaning and as you said he could take it as flattering. If he does not go out on dates on a regular basis then perhaps he really is as shy as I suspect he is. A friend can ask these questions without seeming overly intrusive. And it keeps the ball in his court.
