Well, the last week I worked at Home Depot, I was anxious to begin that contact and see what sort of interst Mr. HD had. Did he want a buddy to go camping, snow machining with now and then? Would we end up hangin out in our off-work hours....he plays cribbage so I pictured laughter-filled evenings of cribbage and maybe the homemade pizza he brags about making. Or would we actually and officially date? I wasn't sure, but looked forward to the discovery process.
That last week, "life" happened to Mr. HD in a major way. His 80+ yo mother had health issues and needed him, so he went to Fairbanks for a couple of weeks. It was the anniversary of the loss of his brother, which was difficult for the entire family. And Mr. HD himself ended up in the emergency room with difficult-to-diagnose symptoms....I think due to stress and other non-specific causes.
So I understood why I've only gotten two short emails, I honestly did. But I started feeling odd to be sending mine without a response, so I've just let him know that I'm praying for him and his family, which is true.
Last night, I needed caulking and wasn't about to stop shopping at "my" Home Depot just because a man who very possibly isn't interested in me after all works there, so in I went. And OF COURSE there he was, standing right in front of the one aisle I needed to go down.
I smiled and said "Hi." and kept going (remember....my ease with words is written format, not spoken as you will see if you keep reading). I heard, "Hey!" and turned. Mr. HD said, "I just want you to know I don't check my email everyday, and I just got back."
And of course I didn't say anything that would make him smile and feel at ease AND anxious to write/call/spend time with me, did I? Noooooo. Here was my witty reply, "Ok. Um, well I'm glad you're back and feel well enough to work."
I got my caulk and left. Hours later (of course) the replies I should have made came to me. Isn't that always the way?
Personally, I think Mr. HD is a bit afraid of starting something right now because of all the "stuff" happening in his life. I don't think he really realizes that I'm well aware of how much he seems to be a magnet for big events in his life. As I told him in one of my emails, the nice thing about being friends with me is that neither of us are starting from scratch with the other.
Yes, I'd love to have the man be a normal, usual and regular part of my life, in ANY of the ways I envisioned above, but I am not going to storm the gates or do any more than simply say, "I like you...if you'd care to spend time with me, let me know." It's up to each of us to have the courage to overcome our fears about letting someone new in our lives.....as friend or more, and that's homework I can't do for anyone except myself.
Bottom line? I'm not getting out as much as I hoped yet. But I'm still glad I only have one job to do and do well.....teach. It's nice to have more time to relax.
Thought I'd share. Your thoughts or advice is welcome.
Men are very quirky..if we ever figure them out we would make millions on the book..LOL Just live and don't let their quirks get ya down. If he is interested he will let you know but go ahead and show a little concern for his situation(take the lead), but then walk away to see if he follows. Just be a friend...friends is better than nothing..
We all want someone special..I do too but so many times they start and then something happens gosh knows what and they stop? Quirky..LOL
Oh darn HB.....I had hoped for more. I guess the only advise I have is just back off and let him make up his mind as to what he wants to do. I think most of us are somewhat "afraid" of starting a relationship of any kind. We all just have to make up our minds as to what we want and then do something about it. You know what you would like....I guess the ball is in his court now. Sorry. I wonder why everything has to be so darn complicated!!!!
HB, like all your Eon friends I too had hoped you and Mr HD would have at least seen each other once or twice outside your work place. I see it like this...he already has a good idea what kind of person you are...now..we all know, it's easy to talk, smile and flirt a little, then go on our way. Now when it comes down to actually spending more than a few passing minutes with someone is something else. On a real date, you know your going to be talking and listening to only one person for X number of hours...that...can be a big hurdle to jump sometimes. Especially if it's your first one in a long time. I know mine sure was. I just knew I was going to jump, then fall flat on my face...stay true to you. Remember no matter who else is around or not, we all have to live with ourselves. I still wish you the best...
Disclaimer -- from someone who has not had the best luck/skill/? with men-- :-) but here goes my two cents. I think if a man wants to spend time with me, there will be no grey area about it, it will be "loud and clear". And if they don't want to see me, for whatever reason, my tipoff will be that I will be trying to figure it all out. "Maybe if i say/do/think such and such, or don't say/do/think it that will clear things up and we'll be friends/lovers/whatever." If i'm spending time wondering about it this much, "it" probably isn't. If he wants to spend time with me in any capacity (and most men do not actively seek out women just to be pals - i don't think) - he will put it out there clearly. but i could be wrong. :-)
I can't nail it on the head Hb but Mr. HD is holding back because of something concrete. By that I mean that there is an underlying factor which is blocking things and I don't think that it is fear of any kind. Anyway, give it some time...........
Ladies you all may or may not be correct in your assessment. Perhaps the real reason is that Mr HD is poor at the spoken word to the opposite sex as HB is. HB I see nothing wrong with you saying something to him. After all, you did think of what you should have said after you arrived home. I have done that. Thought up a good answer or thought what I should have said instead of the lame words that came out of my mouth. HB you might want to consider stopping by the Home Depot and ask Mr HD if he would like to take in a movie with you. If he is interested you will see it in his face. You might also want to apologize for not asking how his mother is and how everyone is doing. It is a dialogue. I know you have no problem writing it in an email and he said he does not check his email often so a face to face might be the best way to deal with it. You will get all of your answers quick and easy.
Just my opinion. As a shy person and one that loses words between his brain and his mouth I speak from experience.
Thank you, Fella and everyone else who has replied so far. Just an item to know? I had written to Mr. HD and asked what news he had of his mother, and also for his own health, and didn't think I needed to beat him over the head with the questions, and maybe he wouldn't want to talk about that at work, if the news wasn't good.
But what I should have done was just a little bit of preppring....ok now, if I run into Mr. HD when I go there, what should I say? I didn't do that....I focused on what I had to buy and trusted that a fast trip in and out wouldn't include running into him.
He's such a good guy.....honest. No, I won't ask him out on a date, but I've offered to spend time with him, and last weekend asked if he'd like to stop by and enjoy some home cooking....but he was still out of town. And I'd like to think that even if dating wasn't what he wanted, he'd be glad to have another friend in his life...I'm not so smitten that I can't be happy either way.
Try not to get your hopes up too high, HB. I do know that it is easier said than done. I thought I had reined in my hopes when I went to my high school reunion with an old classmate. However, it turned out to be far less than I had hoped for. It is not that he didn't want me (he did), but he just didn't treat me like I want to be treated. Maybe I'm spoiled, but I want to be special to someone, and I'm not going to take any less than what I want. He can simply remain a friend as far as I'm concerned. I hope this doesn't sound unfeeling, but my feelings are more important to me, and if I thought he was special, he would darn well know it!
