My ex and I held a huge party to announce to all, the news of our pending divorce. My "best friend" chose that night to accuse me of having the hots for her hubby. I admit, I loved him, but only as the hubby of my best friend, we all hung around for many years. I tried, but we haven't spoken since.This was almost as painful to me as the ending of my marriage.
Well its a totally new set of people Marti for me I don't associate with any of my late spouses friends or my in laws not a road I want to visit either I just think for a time or lifetime will the second half be better than the first half that I what I believe
My former husband, through bad choices and ill considered behavior, made himself radioactive with all our friends. I have not lost any friends, but it has changed the nature and quality of the relationship. Although the vast majority of "our" friends were my friends, some of his friends reached out to me and have forged friendships. People who act particularly badly tend to create a sympathy backlash which can result in a circling of the wagons around the other spouse. Anyone I'd lose as a friend in such an event was never a friend to begin with, IMO.
Losing a spouse through death is a different experience than losing a spouse in a divorce. Again, I didn't lose any friends, but the social impact of a violent death does have an impact on comfort level and affects communication if the person is not a part of the inner circle.
I've moved often on the job and education trail, so I have a certain level of friend loss from mere relocation, however, I have friends going back 40 years as well.
No, when my husband died, his best friend and I exchange christmas cards but thats it (he died in 1993) it seems when your husband or S/O dies so does his friends etc. I know you feel very alone after someone dies... people just dont know what to say. I have friends that have been friends for 34 years...
posted by gnibaby
about 1 month ago
Its somewhat similiar Celtic I travel more now and being former miltary my friends are my friends truly sadly my wife found out that her friends really were not her friends just folks whom used her she in the later years developed a friendship with a lady who's children went to school with our daughter it was the only connection I we maintained my wife was a kind hearted person but her family was highly disfunctional on many levels my children are all adults now and can see things clearly for themselves and wonder how I dealt with the family for all those years I just tell them their mom was not like that with me so now I just move forward step by step and enjoy life and discovering myself again I was a committed husband it is what it is I was happy the hardest part is knowing anyone can call you a friend but just like love its a action word friendship requires action on the part of two people making a commitment to the relationship and effort and respect I felt like a disposible person for a while after she passed away my children were around we were their for each other so the friends that I have our real now not waiting for me to call or stopping by they call me to check in and invite me out to dinner or just out to relax and chat
I think a lot of us find this problem......the friends we had while married are no longer friends with either of us......my best friend is still with me and has been for almost 50 years. I have made new friends and still see some of the old friends....not often and nothing more than to say Hi.....its just part of the program....women that are married are afraid of you......and they don't want their husbands around you. Sad...so many people insecure....but that's just the way it has to be....a friend of mine (I thought) was sleeping with my husband...so what can I say
They are really small minded annie we want our own not shared or someones elses wife or husband strange people even our conversations talks and chats are different just my opinion we know who we are their discovering themselves we have been there already and now were on the other side
There are friends of convenience, and friends of common interests, childhood friends, etc. - - I find - sub grouping them helps me understand just where we stand with one another and why. For me, childhood friends are great to see about once every couple of years, talk to once in awhile. Common interest friends are sharing information on accomplishing something or other, and friends of convenience are the neighbors and most work friends, that you'd expect to disappear if you were to move, or change employment. But every once in awhile there's one or two that hang on through time and space - and those are the ones that I consider a "special blessing". The friends of a couple fall into the same groups - with one or the other if the couple splits.
posted by onestep
about 1 month ago
One step
Thanks for the post and reply strange sounds pretty simple but honestly most solutions are simple if you break them down to smaller pieces convenient I've always said I don't want to be just convenient to anyone to just get by with thanks one step more to think about
Depends if they are married. Most people look at you as a third wheel. Eventually you do lose contact. Sometimes you choose to lose contact.
