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It was at the Golden Age Rest Home that Sam met Gilda. He was in love! He constantly told her how beautiful she was, what a great sense of humor she had, and how sexy she was.

"Oh Sammy", she said, "if you knew how old I was, you wouldn't be saying such things."

But Sam was in love. "Listen Gilda, I bet I can tell you exactly how old you are" he said.

"And how would you do that?" she replied. "Well

Gilda", he said, "We will go to your room, light a candle, dim the lights, get on the bed, and I will put my hand in your panties. Then I will tell you just exactly how old you are." Being the curious type, Gilda agreed.

They went into her room, lit a candle, dimmed the lights, got on the bed, and Sam put his hand inside Gilda's panties. When they were 'finished'...Gilda asked, "Ok then, how old am I?" Sam replied, "88 years old." "OY!!! I don't believe it! How did you know?"

Sam replied, "You told me last week!"

Gotta love them old guys.

It was at The Shady Rest, Gilbert, age 90, and Alice, age 88. They would eat their dinners, and when finished go sit on the porch, holding hands.

After weeks of doing this nightly, and espousing to the caring for each other, Gilbert finally talked Alice into slipping her hand in his pants, and holding his "crank".

This went on for weeks, and then Gilbert stopped eating his meals with Alice.

She finally tracked him down, only now he was eating with Muriel. She watched further, saw them go out on the porch, and sure enough, she had her hand down his pants, a smile on his face.

She met Gilbert the next morning, and told him she had seem him with Muriel. She ranted, raved, and said, "I thought you cared for me."

"I do" stated Gilbert.

"Then tell me, what Muriel has that I don't"

Gilbert, sheepishly told her, "Bells Palsey"

I worked in a nursing home. Two patients, Suzy and George were my favorites. Suzy smoked cigarettes and wanted George to slip into our break room and steal cigs for her. We would leave our packs out so he can get at them. He would only take one out of each pack. We found out later George would get some nookie in return for the cigs. They could be found on a park bench next to the parking lot. Her hand was never in his pants, he was a gentleman and pulled it out for her. I still remember the night George died. Suzy quietly slipped out from underneath him and went back to her room. Suzy told me she was originally from Norfolk VA. She went to college and wanted to sing me her school song. She sang, "We are the girls from Norfolk Norfolk, we don't drink, we don't smoke Norfolk Norfolk."