Like you Lyn, I was a social butterfly when younger. I dated a lot in high school & college; and, in the early years of marriage we had a lot of friends we socialized with. However, over the years it evolved to the point my husband & I didn't have a lot of friends - and I'm really not sure why - he was also very sociable. Consequently, when we divorced I was in limbo with only 1 friend. It took me a while to get to the point that I made the effort to go out & make some friends & started socializing again.
I do have a fairly large circle of friends now that I do things with - but find it difficult to get revved up to do what I should & could do in order to meet other people (maybe even a man to date.)
I've learned to be content when I am alone & can go out & do some things alone, with no qualms at all. I guess I've just gotten lazy about it & have no real driving force to change that.
Because I do have this circle of friends I don't guess I'll become a reclusive little old lady that only gets out to go to the grocery store. But I could certainly do more to have a social life - and that's up to me alone to accomplish.
My life has been a quandary of sorts for many years. I think that is what happens when you are self-employed. I have been doing fairs for so long, that it is hard to remember not doing them. When I am at a fair I become a hermit in the evenings. I might go out to dinner with a friend, but that is about it.
Otherwise at home it has always been difficult to join social groups because I am gone for periods of time. I have some really good friends but we all live in different places. I have been in two different relationships with men here while still being on the road. No matter how much we stayed in contact or I flew home to visit they ended because of my being gone. I have recently joined some Meet Up groups, just to get out. Unfortunately there are few groups in this area that interest me but I keep an eye out because new ones are starting all of the time. I keep a good attitude. Also I joined the Y again and will be working out. I don't go to the gym to be social. I go to work out and take care of me.
I think, we have all become a little too comfortable with the internet and with Eons. It's too easy to say ... "No, I don't feel like going out, I can just stay home and have all the interaction I want being on the Net and with my good friends here on Eons".
Sometimes that works and sometimes it don't. It's sure cheaper than a date, and if my night ends up being boring, I can simply click off and go cook something to eat, try to watch what crap is on TV, or maybe just go to bed. At least I won't have to cook someone breakfast, or drive them home, or point the directions to the bus stop.
Hate to admit it, but sure sounds like some of my weekends lately.
The honking of the horn next door just woke me out of that dream.
For many years I was working 2 jobs, and having all the fun I wanted nightly. I would make use of my Sundays as a day to recharge and get ready for the next week's festivities. It was fun most of the times and I seriously doubt i'd change much.
Just recently I found out that I can still enjoy a few days of carousing and carrying on per week if I just get out and DO IT !!
Sure some of my friends miss me when I'm not around 24/7 on eons, but I finally realized there's more to the life I have left, than sitting at home.
At least it hasn't led me back to drinking, which was my biggest fear.
I may be getting older, but I can still cut a rug with the best of them at times, so what if I need a break now and then.
P.S. I will never let you become a recluse Lyn...lol
posted by sgc52
about 1 month ago
Like most of you, when I was younger I dated a lot. Partied a lot, etc. I enjoy being alone now. I have a couple friends that I go to the movies or dinner with. I will say that when I go on a cruise or fly somewhere, I go into fantasy mode. When I fly, I like to dress like the ladies did in the 50's & 60's. Very high heels, dress & jewelry. When I go on a cruise I become the life of the party the whole time. Then I come home & I'm content being curled up in my recliner with a good movie. I still work full time, so I am interacting a lot with people. Perhaps that's why I enjoy being alone when I'm home.
The reality is there aren't the same social opportunities as there were when we were younger, nor are there the willing friends to accompany us on any and every adventure, and last time I looked, no men were lined up at the door. Hold on... let me check... darn, still no one (LOL). I buy season tickets to the theatre and orchestra and invite friends, and if it turns out no one wants to go, I do go alone, but it always makes me acutely aware of my aloneness. I am still working, so I get a reasoable amount of socialization during the day. At least I interact with others... and for the most part quite well :) But I find being sociable perhaps more rewarding that being social these days. Good conversation with good souls is about as good as it gets. Add good food and good wine, and... here we are.
I spent years being social in my choice of how I made a living. Having to be social took its' tole and after some pretty stressful years trying to combine life's drama with making a living, I now find that I don't care to be social as often as I use to.
In reading this post, my first thought of sociable was negative, as in "she's not very sociable". After thinking on it some more, I realized for me, socializing has levels. Some days I'm happy to socialize on a personal level talking about myself or my experiences but those days are few and far between and usually done with my F2F friends. Sociability on the internet usually has to do with identifying with an experience or conversational style that peeks my interest and makes me want to join in. I'm not one who is drawn to the drama in other's lives unless the drama is about a cause or a wrong doing that pushes my buttons and I can no longer sit on my hands.
The internet allows us to keep the socializing to our own comfort levels. For me, having made friends here that I talk with by phone has made it more real and therefore, more beneficial.
Perhaps these feelings change with the circumstances and some day in the future I will again be that social person I remember. In the meantime, I'm very content being sociable when the mood strikes me.
