You Can't Always Love thy Neighbour
Today, or at least the morning has been a day from hell, I have been crying from rage, rather than grief, at the antics of my next door neighbour (and I actually only have one as the rest are all holiday homes). My neighbour is seriously unlikeable, very self opinionated, very rude and outspoken. He also likes to try to pinch land, has very unruly, noisey dogs who terrorise anyone walking past the house, one even bit a child once. The post man will not go there now, they have to have a box on their gate. Over the years he has upset a few villagers, and also my Richard, so I sort of was expecting what happened.
Basically there is a small stream between our properties, a decaying length of wooden fence, only about 12 foot, which is sited just at the end of the stream where the stream goes underground by a calvert. They have been breading dogs and wanted to redo the fence. I had no objection and even agreed to them putting a very high fence there, as long as the stuck to the boundary which (in England at least) when there is a stream, the boundary is in the middle of the stream !! Viparian Rights I recall Richard arguing with him in the past when he tried to nick some of our garden (ours is small - theirs is massive !!).
Today I stopped his workman, who lied to me as said he'd already cemented the post in - but got caught out when I struggled up to the pole to see he had not. It had been sited 2 foot into my garden, a good foot my side proud of my stream bank - it looked rediculous from my side, and well out of line, and NOT in the middle of the stream. The builder rightly said he'd wait til Rod came home.
I spent 2 hours waiting for an argument, paralised with anxiety - I just knew I had to fight this battle or Richard would be cross - indeed, I was cross.
I kept my cool, stated my case, and he laid into me - said that I was being silly and petty, said that what was a foot or two, and he said he could not set the post in the middle part as it was too rocky - so I said well set it your side, or find another way of fixing it. I offered to get an independent surveryor in to settle the situation. He threatened me with his Deeds, I countered that I also had our Deeds (well I know the're somewhere in my chaos !!) but when I said that he then said "well in fact the Deeds are a little wonky !!!!!!!" so obviously he knew he was in the wrong. He then told his builder to move it to where I wanted it.
THEN he said that Richard was lazy, said he never did any gardening and should have not let the fence rot away, and when I said that he had medical issues (which he did know about it) he said Richard did not and could easily had done more.................................... ...................................... can you imagine how angry I felt, I lost it a bit then as said told he he was taking advantage of the fact that he was such a well man that he is now dead and you are taking advantage of my quiet nature.... then went in doors, and sobbed and sobbed for quite a while, how dare he.
I was proud I stuck up - told myself that this was an argument that had to come up, and now it was over with. I don't need to speak to my neighbours, we were never friends - he and his wife are very odd - never ever go out together, but that's their business. They are aged mid to late fifties and are not popular with the villagers (and will be even less so when they hear what he tried to do).
Marty - you will be pleased to learn that throughout this horrible episode, there was a break in the clouds and the sun peeped out, and depsite the shouting (his shouting, not me) a little robin bird flew to my feet - now you can guess who that was - a giant wink !!
I cannot wish my grief situation on him even after that, but I certainly cannot "love thy neighbour" when he's such an obnoxious person.
Sorry to have taken so long to write this, but it hasn't half helped to get it off my chest, I won the battle, but it sure did not feel as if I'd won this morning (not that he would have know how upset it caused me - I suspect he is the one smarting.
Incidentally, he then made his builder take the rotten wood off his trailer and thrown them my side of the fence - where they remain !! I'll not rise to his bait and will remove them to the dump, or burn them in the spring.
Hope you've had a more peaceful day than I had this morning. It was great signing up for my storage room tho' role on next week when I can try to start to organise my chaos. Jeanette xxx (the cat that roared !! - or something like that).
Basically there is a small stream between our properties, a decaying length of wooden fence, only about 12 foot, which is sited just at the end of the stream where the stream goes underground by a calvert. They have been breading dogs and wanted to redo the fence. I had no objection and even agreed to them putting a very high fence there, as long as the stuck to the boundary which (in England at least) when there is a stream, the boundary is in the middle of the stream !! Viparian Rights I recall Richard arguing with him in the past when he tried to nick some of our garden (ours is small - theirs is massive !!).
Today I stopped his workman, who lied to me as said he'd already cemented the post in - but got caught out when I struggled up to the pole to see he had not. It had been sited 2 foot into my garden, a good foot my side proud of my stream bank - it looked rediculous from my side, and well out of line, and NOT in the middle of the stream. The builder rightly said he'd wait til Rod came home.
I spent 2 hours waiting for an argument, paralised with anxiety - I just knew I had to fight this battle or Richard would be cross - indeed, I was cross.
I kept my cool, stated my case, and he laid into me - said that I was being silly and petty, said that what was a foot or two, and he said he could not set the post in the middle part as it was too rocky - so I said well set it your side, or find another way of fixing it. I offered to get an independent surveryor in to settle the situation. He threatened me with his Deeds, I countered that I also had our Deeds (well I know the're somewhere in my chaos !!) but when I said that he then said "well in fact the Deeds are a little wonky !!!!!!!" so obviously he knew he was in the wrong. He then told his builder to move it to where I wanted it.
THEN he said that Richard was lazy, said he never did any gardening and should have not let the fence rot away, and when I said that he had medical issues (which he did know about it) he said Richard did not and could easily had done more.................................... ...................................... can you imagine how angry I felt, I lost it a bit then as said told he he was taking advantage of the fact that he was such a well man that he is now dead and you are taking advantage of my quiet nature.... then went in doors, and sobbed and sobbed for quite a while, how dare he.
I was proud I stuck up - told myself that this was an argument that had to come up, and now it was over with. I don't need to speak to my neighbours, we were never friends - he and his wife are very odd - never ever go out together, but that's their business. They are aged mid to late fifties and are not popular with the villagers (and will be even less so when they hear what he tried to do).
Marty - you will be pleased to learn that throughout this horrible episode, there was a break in the clouds and the sun peeped out, and depsite the shouting (his shouting, not me) a little robin bird flew to my feet - now you can guess who that was - a giant wink !!
I cannot wish my grief situation on him even after that, but I certainly cannot "love thy neighbour" when he's such an obnoxious person.
Sorry to have taken so long to write this, but it hasn't half helped to get it off my chest, I won the battle, but it sure did not feel as if I'd won this morning (not that he would have know how upset it caused me - I suspect he is the one smarting.
Incidentally, he then made his builder take the rotten wood off his trailer and thrown them my side of the fence - where they remain !! I'll not rise to his bait and will remove them to the dump, or burn them in the spring.
Hope you've had a more peaceful day than I had this morning. It was great signing up for my storage room tho' role on next week when I can try to start to organise my chaos. Jeanette xxx (the cat that roared !! - or something like that).
