Yep...start out with a set of rules right from the beginning. Present them in an unthreatening manner and show them that YOU want this to work as well as THEY do.
Good luck Cyn......this is definitely going to be a challenge and I admire anyone who is willing to take something like this ON!!!!!!!
I had somewhat of a similar situation. My Dad passed away in 1999 at the age of 91. I took my Mother in to live with me a year later (I'm no believer in nursing homes). The first six months were nothing less than a trial and, admittedly, there were days in those first six months where I thought I made the wrong decision. After six months though, the adjustment was made and my Mother lived with me for the next six years until she passed away in 2006. That first six months was rough, but after, she was a treasure to have living with me.
Why don't people like having family move in with them? My wife and I always told her parents that they were welcome to live with us. My mother-in-law wishes she had taken us up on that offer years ago. My wife has since passed away, but the offer is still open.
posted by OldMike
about 1 month ago
Mike...it really depends if they can take care of themselves on a basic level.
My mother-in-law was getting so bad that she posed a danger by leaving the gas on without the burner being lit....wandering outside and not being able to find her. She also needed "depends" on around the clock which she did not change herself....and she couldn't bathe herself. A nursing home was the only logical option.
I agree, sometimes we need help taking care of elderly or sick relatives.
posted by OldMike
about 1 month ago
I hope all goes well with your mother-in-law. If you have gotten along that is a plus. My mother-in law could and I could never have lived together. In her late years I was there to take of her. When we were first married - she was the mother-in-law from hell. As we age things change and we do what we have to. Her daughter could not have cared less. Tom and I did all we could to help her and my father-in-law. I do not regret all I did to help them. Yes there were things in the past that she said or did to hurt me, but I could not be that kind of person, to hold a grudge on a older person that I knew had limited time left in her life. The night before she passed away I stayed with her in the hospital. I sat on her bed and sang songs to her. Not really sure if she knew. Her daughter was way to tired to stay. Could be because she could not have a cigarette. I am the daughter-in-law. - I could never understand that. I feel I did the right thing. I could not leave her alone. It just did not seem right to me. I have never regretted my decision.
I understand you are undertaking a difficult task. Someday you will feel pride in what you are doing. I know it will not be easy, but stay strong.
Best Wishes, yankee
