You're exactly right about the confusing aspects of both keeping your mother safe and respecting her individuality. We're not programmed to ignore our parents' verbal directions and admonitions, and doing so can be unsettling to all parties concerned.
An especially dark moment for me came when I had to take my mother's car keys from her. That was on February 13, 2006, at or about 1:30 PM. A Monday, as I recall. You've gotten past this point, but there are going to be other moments for you, which you'll survive.
You'll need to talk this over with your siblings, but it may be someone will need to get a durable power of attorney for your mother. If you wait until after she can't sign as a responsible adult, then you'll have to take the matter to court, and that can seem like an unnecessarily long process.
Actually, it was Mom's decision to stop driving and I'm very grateful for that. My sibling is neither nearby nor involved in Mom's care. I do have a durable power of attorney so that's not an issue. Thanks for your kind input.
I think that you should start by checking what she is doing a few times and if it is all okay - back off but if she needs help with her pills or ordering, etc. offer to help. Just don't take over. I think that so many people confuse love and caring with control.
Thanks. I know you are right. We want to take control because we want to keep them safe - kind of like a bird in a cage. It is something I need to be reminded of regularly.
Margy11911, Don't borrow trouble as It has a way of finding you. The fact that your Mom is in assisted living doesn't mean she is helpless. It is funny how we do a role reversal at a certain stage in the relationship with our parents. They cared for us, now we act as their caregivers. There are things that you can do to help you Mother to manage her medications. One thing is making out a pill box with her daily medications in them. This way she doesn't have to worry about getting the correct medications at the proper time. It is important that you chose to take on the responsibility of overseeing your Mother's care. Remember to take care of yourself as well. Keep in touch. Sherry H
I don't know if they have that system by you, but our drugstore actually organised my mother's medication. They even delivered it, all nicely packed in the boxes, according to what my mother must take per meal.
When visiting her, I checked the boxes to see if she took her medication. This might be a possible solution. Meanwhile my mother is in a senior home, and the staff hands out her meds now.
