groups

Judi, I joined Eons some years back (?) but wasn't active at first, either. After my husband died (4/08), I joined 3 groups (this one, Death of a Spouse, and Widows and Widowers) that have been lifelines for me.

It has been a huge benefit for me to post about my thoughts and feelings. There is always someone around who is traveling the same path and who has some comfort and wisdom.

Please feel free to post and respond to others. You can't say anything 'wrong' or 'stupid.' Give yourself a chance to start healing with this loving support.

hugs...marty

Judi, my deepest sympathies on your lose. I'm glad that you came to the group. We are all here to help one another. I lost my husband 14 months ago and I know how you are feeling right now. Come here and read the post, vent your feelings when ever you like. We will be here for you. Hugs........Sue

Judi, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in January and this group and Death of a Spouse have been what kept me sane. It is good just to read the posts to know that others are feeling the same as you are. It is also helpful just to vent your feelings sometimes so feel free to just read or post, whatever makes you comfortable. You will find you are among "family". No one understands our situation like the people in these groups. Deb

Thank you for the quick and kind responses. I know now that I came to the right place. My family and friends are wonderful, but I think this is better for so many things. They all try so hard to be there for me, but I think I need people who are living through the same thing and who I can "talk" to after all the frantic activity of the day is over.

I'm trying to stay busy and that part is pretty easy. There's so much to do and such a good excuse if I just want to chuck it all and wander around Target. But conversation is so precious - I think it's what I miss the most. Twenty-nine years and there were very few days we didn't talk and talk and talk.

Thanks again. I imagine I'll come around and at least read often.

I find that Target is Great therapy, and I know what you mean about missing conversation. I talk to my 3 dogs and 3 cats, but...

Judi, you have found the perfect place to share your journey of grief. Here you will find people on the same path that understand the loss and void that are now part of your life. It has been two and a half years since I lost the love of my life. At first is seemed the world had stopped turning, my life seemed without purpose and there existed a time warp where it seemed that time could not only stop but could go forwards and indeed even sideways.......but always the time seemed to take me further from my husband.......I know it is old and trite, but time does seem to help, there does come healing and life, although very different, does go on. Be kind to yourself, know that each person heals in his or her own way. Find the things that bring you comfort and know that you expereinced the magic of loving and being loved.
May the days be kind, the nights soft and your memories warm
Love Ya, Lyn

Judi, you found a good group. Be good to yourself right now. I found that so hard to do but it's good therapy. I'm at 11 months and I don't know what I'd have done without my Eons people.
Family and friends are well meaning but it helps to talk to people who are and have gone through it.
Keep reading and keep us posted and above all, this is a place where you don't have to hold back. We're here for you. (big hugs)

I'm noticing that I keep looking for that "leash" that caregiving attached. I want to do something Saturday, my schedule is clear, there's nothing holding me back and still I keep waiting for somebody to tell me I can. Silly, I know. Especially considering what a feminist I've always been and how supportive of my individual stuff Dave always was.

I'm able to reason my way through - in fact, I just called and made the reservation, but I keep noticing my tendency to look for the leash.