I am so sorry. I wish I had words that would help you to feel better but honestly I don't. You recognize the reality that this really happened and you aren't going to wake up from a horrible nightmare. It's real.
My only advise is to take care of yourself. Pamper yourself and don't expect to be healed. This is a journey and it takes time.
I hope you have been able to find some good books about grieving or a support group like The Compassionate Friends. It really does help and so does journaling. Stomping your feet, beating a pillow and screaming also helps to release the pain.
We are here for you.
I hope you know I meant that you won't be healed immediately. It comes in time. Sorry for the mistake in my writing.
I understand. My Rachel died August 12th. Tomorrow is her birthday. She should be turning 22. I can be just going through my day, working or whatever, and it is like the wind just gets knocked out of me, my knees buckle, and I can't catch my breath. I know everyone here knows how it feels, so if they say with time it gets a little easier.........well, I guess it will. So far, for me, It is just getting harder......I miss her more each day.
I wouldn't call it whining, your grieving, your devastated. Our worlds are different now. We are different now. Nothing can really make it better. Our babies aren't coming back. But others have gone through this before us and they have made it somehow..............I don't know...........we just keep functioning I guess.
After reading your post - I just wanted to let you know I understand.
I am so sorry you are hurting. It does for a long time. My Heather will be gone 3 years in Nov. and I still feel that sharp, gut wrenching pain when I let myself think about it. Now, I really know she's gone. In the beginning, I kept forgetting and it would hit me all over again. I guess I have accepted it. Like lostinatlanta said, It is real.
Believe us when we say it will become easier. It doesn't bowl you over as often. For now take care, do what is easiest for you in just surviving. Thinking of you. Sandra
I lost my son, Rashad, one year ago. The pain still hits me like a ton of bricks and sometimes it appears as if it just comes out of nowhere. I have heard over and over in time the pain will lessen. Maybe it will all I know is right now the pain is very real and hurtful. What I don't understand sometimes is how people can say to me, are you still grieving, you have to go on living, you have to live for your other children. It is painful when I hear things like that like I am not suppose to still be grieving for my son. It took nine months to bring him into this world, I had him for 21 wonderful (not all of them wonderful) but I had him for 21 years and now he is gone, am I just suppose to grieve for a night and then go on as if I have not lost him. I came here to Parents to be with those who truly understand my pain and grief as those who have not lost a child simply do not understand. Jennifer you grieve as often as you feel the need, no one can tell you when you should and should not. I know that over the course of the year since my son died, I still cry and the pain still there, it still hurts, but I know that I am not alone. I have connected with some really kind, caring and compassionate people here and that has helped me tremendously. Continue to post your feelings, does not matter how often, you need to vent. Scream, yell, punch a pillow, to release your pain it is the only way you will get through.
Just know you have a friend and I am here if you need me. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
My son has been gone for over 6 years now,it still hurts My older brother died over 19 years ago my mom tells me it still hurts,time
does not heal what time does is give us the space to learn how to adjust to a new normal.after 6 years I cant say it hurts less I just have learned how to distract myself from it by living,I remember I have a reason to go on.and that I dont think my son would want me to be in constant pain so I go on for him I live life because he could not,& now its my job to carry on his legacy & his memory.I want to make sure he is never forgotten...And that gives me reason to go on.I focas on all the beautiful memorys I was blessed to make with him & not on the day that accident happend that caused his death, his life was defined by more than that day & thats what I focas on...I dont know if this helps but I hope it does.we have all been where you are in your grief its something you cant rush,just take one day at a time,one hour one moment,as the others said do what brings you the most comfort.Hugs-Kim
Its been 3 years for me, and I am in tears while posting!
Oh keep on whining, it's been 7 months for me and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I think we all have an excuse to whine.
We are lucky that we have each other to support each other. I drift away for a while but when I am having those down times I know I can always come here and be amongst loving people who understand. I remember hating it when someone who lost a mother, father or sibling would tell me they understand. I wanted to scream at them, "No, You Don't Understand!!!!" Only another person who has lost a child can understand the pain. It knocks you to your knees and the tears flow when you least expect it.
God bless you and hold you close....He and we are here to comfort you. Thank God for this place...it is a safe place.
We would weep for the rest of our lives because we have lost our children and in having this happen we have a special attachment to the laws of nature. We would offer for the rest of lives our shoulders to each other to lean on and our hearts for our love and friendship. We would ask for the rest of our lives to be put into a safe place of peace where we can remember the love we shared.
It's been five years.
