I think I may have hit one of those "walls" while I walk this journey of grief. In fact I said those very words to the new man in my life, or words like, you give me purpose. I know I am blessed more than many by having the younger children still in my life and blessed even more because two of the older ones live with me yet and wait on me hand and foot. But somehow even with all of the love my children bestow upon me I needed something more, a love, a purpose......something, but still even though I have found love anew there is still a missing part of me, perhaps like a wound that is slow to heal.
I think I have read more books since I became widowed than in my entire life before......I play word games and I force myself to have at least one goal a day........in the beginning that goal might have been to get out of bed! Now since the new love in my life and me live 1295 miles apart I still sometimes feel without direction, but I think I am finding that life is a myriad of lessons all learned at different times during your life
A bucket list............a list of things you would like to do before you die..........well I think I did the major one.........I loved and I was loved, truly, deeply, magically............and his desire for me to somehow go on and live life with joy and love enables me to go on
I am hoping that something catches your fancy, entrances your mind and leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment......for every day is a new one and a new chance to explore.
Love Ya, Lyn
posted by lyn07
over 2 years ago
I don't have a bucket list either. I can't imagine having things that I want to do in my life without my Husband. I think I have found my purpose in life to help others. It seems like my friends come to me to talk about there problems. I just listen and give them comfort. I also got involved with the Fire Corp. I felt I would like to give back to our volunteer fire department. These men and women give of their time freely and I believe that I can do the same for them. We all need to reivent our life after our loved ones have passed, and I think I found mine. Hugs.......Sue
Marty, my bucket is empty too. Like you I live alone with my dog. Also like you I found true love a little later in life and lived alone, traveled, had a career and thrived. Then came the 20 years with the love of my life, Jim and it seemed like everything else that I had achieved (my former bucket list) had led me to a place that together we would know true joy. Our bucket was full of hopes and dreams but now mine is an empty pail. Maybe it is too soon for us to feel passion about life again and maybe we never will. I have read your many posts about David and your great love for him and no one can take that from you or your bucket. So, until we find a purpose again or a reason to dream - our bucket is waiting and the biggest dream of our life has already been achieved. Joyce
posted by Joyce4
over 2 years ago
There appears to be a lot of gloom and doom lately on this site contributed by various members including myself. I think we have to put things into perspective and give ourselves a bite of a reality sandwich. We have passed through the acute stage of grief, are now several years removed from that terrible ineffable day and have decided to go on with life. As much as we dislike it, we have accepted facts as they are. What was was, and what is is. We try to make our lives more meaningful and perhaps even more tolerable, but things will never be as good as they once were. If we are lucky enough to find some meaning and passion in life, great. If not, loosen up, take each day as it comes, worry about whats for dinner and not what the future holds. Time to refill my Martini
Marty
posted by ophth
over 2 years ago
Marty, sometimes a martini sounds good to me, too. But...I've been sober for nearly 35 years and don't want to blow it! Maybe I'll settle for hot chocolate... that sounds comforting, too!
I don't have a bucket list either. Guess my travels will be to visit the kids in Atlanta and New Mexico.
The desire to travel with a friend is great, but money and work keeps me stuck in a boring life.
Like Harry Belefonte used to sing. "There's a hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, There's a hole in the bucket !!
