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I was speaking with a friend of mine this morning, a retired oral surgeon, who because of rheumatoid arthritis has been taking large doses of cortisone for many years. Because of this medication he has unfortunately developed severe osteoporosis and last week suffered a compression fracture of a vertebrae. According to him this has resulted in the most severe unremitting and totally incapacitating back pain he ever imagined possible. High doses of opiates offer little or no relief. He ended the conservation by telling me he had "crossed the line." I was not sure what he meant by this and he explained. When people develop physical or mental pain it is lumped together as "pain and suffering." He went on to say this is a false statement. There is a definite line which pain can cross over and become suffering. He had crossed this line and suffering was different from pain. Pain is bearable for humans, suffering is not. I now wonder when my Pat crossed this line. I know Many times I would try to reduce her pain medication because full doses would cause her to become nonverbal and semi responsive. I wanted to be able to relate with her and her pain medication prevented this. I now realize how wrong I was. In retrospect I now understand that she had crossed that line into suffering and by my selfish actions I was making things worse. It is difficult to deal with this now, but I learned too late.
Marty