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I started talking to my mother about my marital problems about a year or so ago. I thought I needed her on my side; actually I know I needed her on my side. But for her to be on my side, she had to paint my husband as the bad guy even when I was trying to not portray him as such. Then, I confided with my sister who seems to have taken me on as her current project. She is an accountant and she has decided that she doesn't like the way my husband and I ran our financial life. So now my mother and my sister think my husband is a bully, have said that I am a victim of verbal abuse and that he is very controlling. I find their conclusions too simple but I also am the one who still has tender feelings for this man, on occasion. Just got an e-mail from my sister who is offended that I am not making the choices she thinks I should make (buying a used car vs a new car, selling a house at a bigger loss than planned just to get out of it, division of maritial property etc.). Talked to my mother who must be listening to my sister because I started hearing similar things from her.

It may be hard to do, but I will have to raise the boundaries between my sister and myself in regard to my personal life and decisions. I think I will respond with gratitude to any suggestion and then make my own decision when I am ready to do so.

My sister is almost being as bullying and controlling as my husband. So, be careful who you use as a confidant and who you let in to your life. My sister needs a new project. But I will be kind. Don't want to piss her off too much.