Pivotal Week
Well, yesterday I got served with the divorce documents. The office assistant in the mediator's office (about an hour away) did the serving. We were supposed to have our second mediation discussion yesterday, but I had to postpone meeting with the lawyer because I had nothing to add to our last discussion because I have so much else going on.
Two weeks ago I was in a car accident. My car ended up being totalled, but I am grateful that I was not hurt badly. Just a bit of minor neck pain and headaches and emotional trauma. Yesterday, I also turned my title into the salvage yard.
Last Friday I submitted my application for a permanent job. I was a retired federal employee who then became a temporary federal employee and am hoping to become a permenent federal employee. I know that my manager had to work hard to make this happen and I am grateful that they want me to work for them. Hopefully, my electronic application went through correctly (USA Jobs is not a user friendly application) and I will actually make the list of approved applicants for the job. May find that out today. Or tomorrow. Hopefully by Friday.
If they don't offer me a permanent job by Friday, I am going to have to take the other job I have been offered, three hours south of here. I am grateful for that other job offer. The job will be quite a bit different from what I have done in the past, and although the beginning salary is less than my federal salary, there is no offset for my pension and the pay will move up over time. And I can rent a home from my sister and see my nieces and nephews often. And stay with my elderly mother while I get settled.
Saturday, I put money down to hold an apartment locally because the brand new complex I want to rent at is about to be filled up and they had a nice move-in special. But, today is the third day. I either need to cancel the hold, put in an application, or lose the hold money. I really like this place, but I may not be able to live in this city if I don't get the permanent job. But I am grateful that the apartment was still available.
Yesterday, I also went car shopping. I found the type of car that I like and want to buy. I am grateful that I still have the sensibility to not allow some @#$% car salesman to pressure me to buy a car before I am ready. And I wasn't ready yesterday. But I can't put it off too long. The car rent charge keeps adding up.
Late last night, my realtor called. We finally got an offer on a home that my husband and I have had on the market for over a year. Of course it is a lowball offer and we would lose $80,000 if we took it. I don't think I want to take it. Because we are in divorce mediation and my husband wants this house to be my part of the divorce settlement, he is adamant about not accepting this offer as is because it would mean that I would have to get more money from other joint assets in order to make up for the 50/50 split. He also says that even if we counter and they agree, he will not sign until I agree that closing costs are either going to factor in to both of neither of the values of the homes that we are dividing up. And he is adamant about that. I am grateful that I will only have to deal with his negativity and controlling attitude for a limited amount of time and that I know enough now to make sure that we make firm decisions on other joint asset issues when we finalize the divorce so that he can't bully me into making a decision that is not in my best interest.
My husband also met a dog that seems to meet his needs. He told me about it last night and I am grateful both that he may have found what he wants in a pet and that I don't have to deal with a dog that may or may not be housebroken yet and cleaning up after it.
Tonight, I am going to meet with the listing realtor (about an hour away) and counter the offer and I am going to go to another car dealer to see a late model used car that is in the price range that I am looking offer (also in the same city).
My friends have been great. My family supportive. But I need to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions. And I thank the Lord above for continuing to give me strength.
Two weeks ago I was in a car accident. My car ended up being totalled, but I am grateful that I was not hurt badly. Just a bit of minor neck pain and headaches and emotional trauma. Yesterday, I also turned my title into the salvage yard.
Last Friday I submitted my application for a permanent job. I was a retired federal employee who then became a temporary federal employee and am hoping to become a permenent federal employee. I know that my manager had to work hard to make this happen and I am grateful that they want me to work for them. Hopefully, my electronic application went through correctly (USA Jobs is not a user friendly application) and I will actually make the list of approved applicants for the job. May find that out today. Or tomorrow. Hopefully by Friday.
If they don't offer me a permanent job by Friday, I am going to have to take the other job I have been offered, three hours south of here. I am grateful for that other job offer. The job will be quite a bit different from what I have done in the past, and although the beginning salary is less than my federal salary, there is no offset for my pension and the pay will move up over time. And I can rent a home from my sister and see my nieces and nephews often. And stay with my elderly mother while I get settled.
Saturday, I put money down to hold an apartment locally because the brand new complex I want to rent at is about to be filled up and they had a nice move-in special. But, today is the third day. I either need to cancel the hold, put in an application, or lose the hold money. I really like this place, but I may not be able to live in this city if I don't get the permanent job. But I am grateful that the apartment was still available.
Yesterday, I also went car shopping. I found the type of car that I like and want to buy. I am grateful that I still have the sensibility to not allow some @#$% car salesman to pressure me to buy a car before I am ready. And I wasn't ready yesterday. But I can't put it off too long. The car rent charge keeps adding up.
Late last night, my realtor called. We finally got an offer on a home that my husband and I have had on the market for over a year. Of course it is a lowball offer and we would lose $80,000 if we took it. I don't think I want to take it. Because we are in divorce mediation and my husband wants this house to be my part of the divorce settlement, he is adamant about not accepting this offer as is because it would mean that I would have to get more money from other joint assets in order to make up for the 50/50 split. He also says that even if we counter and they agree, he will not sign until I agree that closing costs are either going to factor in to both of neither of the values of the homes that we are dividing up. And he is adamant about that. I am grateful that I will only have to deal with his negativity and controlling attitude for a limited amount of time and that I know enough now to make sure that we make firm decisions on other joint asset issues when we finalize the divorce so that he can't bully me into making a decision that is not in my best interest.
My husband also met a dog that seems to meet his needs. He told me about it last night and I am grateful both that he may have found what he wants in a pet and that I don't have to deal with a dog that may or may not be housebroken yet and cleaning up after it.
Tonight, I am going to meet with the listing realtor (about an hour away) and counter the offer and I am going to go to another car dealer to see a late model used car that is in the price range that I am looking offer (also in the same city).
My friends have been great. My family supportive. But I need to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions. And I thank the Lord above for continuing to give me strength.
