so move already, I would. Kids don't have to be for life, they just think they do.
I can tell you for a FACT that they would be the first to boot you out of their lives completely when you make them be responsible adults.......So live your life now for YOU!!!
In same situation, he is 40 unemployed and living in my home. I would love to sell my home and trailer at the lakes and get rid of these problems.
Ladies, you need to be like my mother. Some people say she is too stringent, but she did exactly what was right for her. I have three brothers. One is married and struggling with his wife. The other two tried to take advantage of my mother, but she is very strong when it comes to dealing with them. As a matter of fact, they don't even know where she lives at this point. They wanted to live with her forever and contribute nothing. One of them got very upset when she asked him to make some monetary contribution towards the household expenses.
My son is 30 years old. Did not finish college. Came back home and refused to find a job. I have been warning him that when I am ready to sell the house I could care less if he has where to go. He finally found a job (not great, but at least a start) about 3 weeks now. When I am ready to sell my home, when I retire, from my current job, the last thing that will keep me back is worrying about where he will go. He is 30 years old and should be on his own. I have repeatedly warned him that the law requires that minors (younger than 18 years of age) be supported by parents. Once you reach the age of 18 you are on your own. I will have no mercy.
Move, hurry..get on with your life!!
posted by gmom
3 months ago
Five years ago I left my four children up north and moved to Florida. If they couldn't be responsible for themselves as adults (which they were) I would not have thought twice about leaving them. It's called tough love and gives them a wake up call and makes them grow up. I never regretted moving for one minute and have created a much better life for myself here than I ever would have had up north. Go for it girl. It's your time to live.
I agree that you must live for yourself now that they are adults. They will figure out how to survive, and maybe even thrive, once they are on their own without an enabling parent doing everything for them. Don't be afraid, just give them a date to be out and follow through with it.
GO, AND DON' T LOOK BACK. NOW IS THE TIME FOR YOU.
It is sooooo sad today. Everywhere I look parents are complaining about ungrateful children. I was speaking to a friend of mine today who complained of her nephew who is in his 30s, taking drugs, living with her and not doing anything for himself. What kind of life is this? and she puts up with it. I guess our generation learned the hard way because we had little. We give them everything we did not have so they take it for granted and want us to take care of them until they are 90 years old. I said it before, my mom refused to put up with this and if people want to say she is a bad mother, so be it. There is no end to it. It seems parents are afraid of their kids today. There must be an underlying reason why parents today are putting up with so many ingrates.
What say ye?
I agree with everyone else. I "nurtured" my daughter way too long and she took great advantage of it. I finally turned her loose about 2 years ago when she was 25 and a single mother of 2 boys. Although she struggles at times (who doesn't?), she is making it on her own. If we don't let go and stop enabling our kids, they'll never be able to survive on their own. It's your time now, Diane. Take it, and you'll be amazed at how great you'll feel and how your children will figure out how to make it on their own. It may even improve your relationship with them.
