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Marty, you struck a nerve with me today. I have been feeling terribly lonely. There is no special person who is really significant in my life these days. I know I need to get out and get more involved with Life itself...but it's a struggle.

I've fallen into a weird 'routine' of staying up late, getting up late, doing what needs to be done, and making my daily trip into town (about 12 miles away) to pick up mail and do other errands. I noticeably feel more alive when I'm communicating with other people. My animal children aren't much on conversation... Now, I've got to re-establish a more 'normal' schedule so maybe I'll feel like making the effort to reconnect...

I think that loneliness could be a terminal condition...

hugs...the other marty

Lonliness is consuming my life...I'm restricted from many activities because of health reason now so that means home....

Tomorrow will be 2 years of....alone!!!

Lonliness is somethng we MUST work on. If you are able to get out, do it and find things that you can do to meet others. HoopyLady54, you stay on this computer and make friends here;. I am a very active W. lady (2 1/2 years) and yes, there are times that I do feel so alone, especially at night but I will NOT let it consume me. marty, at this age and time of life you can have any kind of schedule you want. Nothing weird about itl. We are all here for each other and OURSELVES!

Marty, I'm right there with you. I live with my daughter and her family (husband and three grandchildren). I go to dinner with friends I've made in the bereavement group and now I'm going to do a little volunteer work. I'm always busy but I'm still lonely. There is no getting around it, I miss Joe and I always will. There is no one who can take his place. I'm just passing time until we are together again. Hugs, Pat

I can relate to (starynights), Pat's post. You can be active and around other people all the time, but still be lonely. Isolation does not have to be a physical condition. I think that this lonliness is more complex than "being alone". We have lost half of ourselves, a great part of our idenities, our lifestlyes, which may include financial support, and the only person who we can "really" talk to. We have to find a new idenity, and a new "normal" in which to live. Learning to function in this new normal my be difficult and startling, because we don't relate to life and people the way we used to. At times, that can feel very lonely. We have become strangers to people who used to know us as well as to ourselves. But it is part of moving forward with our lives.

Well put, Amoeba, but there are a significant number of us who wonder if it is worth all the effort to move forward. At times it is a lot easier to "veg" out, fantasize about the good days when things were better and just let time roll on.
Marty

It is easier to do that, but the reward of friendship takes a little more than that. Even if you just find another lonely person and set up a regular game of dominos or something, you might be able to help each other find a bit of a new routine.

I was active in several clubs "before" and what I found out was that there were dozens of singles who I had not even noticed who came forward and said "Come play cards", "Let's go out for chinese", "Has anybody talked to Judi this week?". Some things I'm not quite ready for yet, but I have enjoyed dinner with these ladies several times and it sure gives me hope for the future.

Trying not to sound preachy because I hate that, but the trick seems to be watching for other lonely people to help.

To ease the loneliness requires a leap of faith that is all consuming. It demands that you jump over a void and end up in a place all too familiar, a place where you are vunerable and a place that may bring you face to face with grief......then you have to determine for yourself, is it worth it? Will I put myself through that again, or do I want to live in an isolated world where nothing can touch me and the sameness can become a routine kind of comfort? Or.......do I want it again, do I want the love, the companionship, do I want that trival chatter, those phrases and games that only mean something to the people enjoying them? There is a price to pay for each choice we make. Not long after I lost my husband it often floated through my head........would I do this all again, even knowing the pain and grief I would one day endure? And the answer was always yes. Then I wondered how he would want me to live my life, what would he want for me. I knew it was love and laughter, so I took that leap of faith and faced that void and although the ache and loss will never leave me, I can once again share love and laughter. I think it is perhaps because it was so good, so magical that I wanted it again. I wanted it so bad I was willing to face the fact that one day I might have to start another journey of grief.....but is it worth it? Yes! Love, Live, Laugh., It is now the only way we have to bring comfort to those we lost........to live as they would have wished us to. So far I have not noiticed that new loves come pre paid in packages in the mail......you have to put yourself out there, be open and not look for a clone. And I agree with themarty.........loneliness could be terminal and what a horrible way to go.
May the days be kind, the nights warm and your memories sweet
Love Ya, Lyn

Talking to yourself.....hmmm I always heard that was a bad sign! Anyway on my brave list in my previous answer, I should let you know that rejection really stinks!
Love Ya, Lyn