To me, being happy is about my personal sense of fulfillment. Am I doing the things that I want to do? Am I enjoying my life? Is there love in my life?
If the answers are all "yes" then I am fulfilled. Notice I didn't mention marriage? It isn't part of the equation. Not important, and not not important, just not part of the equation.
Single 21 years and happier than I have ever been rather it was married or in the beginning years of my singleness.
Having a loving passionate mate that I was compatible with could add to that happiness as much as having a mate who I don't feel the passion with or who didn't hold up to his end of the relationship would bring me great misery.
I guess what I am trying to say is, you can be happy or unhappy in either state....how many married people do you know who are unhappy?
A huge amount of the people I know that are married are very unhappy.
I have been single 5 years and I am happy with my life. I am not ruling out ever getting married again, I enjoyed being married. But I don't have to be married to be happy.
posted by Ellen7
over 2 years ago
Just for the sake of being married absolutely not. However haveng a loving caring partner/mate can help smooth all the rough edges of life. Sometimes I just want top be held by a man who cares about me. And hopefull I could return the favor..
Marriage is not necessarily happiness, but you can be happily married and happily single too because happiness comes from within, and depends on personal choices.
posted by Demuel
over 2 years ago
Oceanbreeze, I feel as you do. My husband has been gone sixteen years. I remarried for a short two years, but it was a huge mistake. Would I like to meet a nice guy who could light my fire again? Sure! I doubt it will ever happen, as I,m not actively seeking anyone new. I,m as happy as I can be I think.
My husband died in 1986 and I raised 4 sons. I remarried briefly and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. Now I've been single for 6 years and loving every minute. I have no obligations to anyone. I do whatever I want. I have friends and family and I volunteer. I'm retired and very happy just as I am. Sure it crosses my mind every so often that it might be nice to find the right someone, but then again the thought of it scares me to death. You can be happily married or unhappily married and you can be happy single or unhappy single. It's up to the individual person and their attitude.
Happiness ebbs and flows for me and sometimes even my sadness brings me joy because I lost something that once brought me great joy. Feeling my feelings and knowing that at even the darkest times there will be rainbows again helps me know that either married or single I will feel my emotions and be glad because they are a sign I am alive.
Happiness can be elusive. Seems it will find you, you don't have to look for it.
