All I can say is that it does not make a man a better lover...love-making is a heck of a lot more than a sustained erection...being with a man who puts that much emphasis on an artificial means to an end is not the kind of guy that I find a good partner..
hey gals,dont you remember that two heads and only enough blood for one?Most of these guys having problems are on blood pressure meds,and the darn doctors dont tell em that "it" works on pressure.There is no shame in getting help,if it means that much to you..To have a man roll over and put his arm around me is wonderfully fulfilling..
I'm with you AMB......sex isn't everything.....I can think of several things that means more to me.
maggiel,
Re your statement, "He was also really bothered by the fact that it didn't matter how aroused he was, the mind did nothing to create the desired effect as it had when he was a young man"
and the mention in another post about dryness in women....
As both men and women age, the decrease in our hormones certainly CAN cause these kinds of problems. I'm on bio-identical hormones, and I feel better than I did when I was in my 30's. And a lot of men need an increase in testosterone as they age since the lack of it can sure affect the mind in a negative way.
I'm confused. Every man's objective when having sex with his lady is to please her. Can you be pleased by something other than an erect penis? If you can please tell your man, don't allow him to be frustrated mentally and reach the point of holding back and staying away from you because he cannot stay erect long enough to finish.
Actually fella....if you ask the ladies to be candid....they will tell you that there are plenty of men who are only interested in their own pleasure....and could care less if they satisfy their lady! Just because a man can have an erection....doesn't mean he knows how to use it well!
There are several other ways to completely satisfy a woman.....but a man has to be a caring and considerate lover.....and not have a lot of unnecessary inhabitions....to do so.
Very well said Red...and of course there are ways we can be pleased by something other than an erect penis. I can't honestly say I'd want a sex life with my man NEVER having an erect penis, but it's certainly not necessary all the time.
And fella, of course open & honest communication about the subject is the ideal way to assure both parties are fully satisfied. But, there are some men that no matter what you tell them or how many times you tell them, it makes no difference in their approach - whether he has an erection or not. Believe me, I know!
As an example to Too's comment above, I spent almost two decades with a man who was CONVINCED, no matter how many times I assured him otherwise, that all women like to have their nipples pinched. Not this gal. He heard me say it thousands of times, but he never listened once.
Communication....listening to the murmured "yes, please" or noticing the slight tensing of the "not so much of that for me please" to just holding one another and chatting about likes and dislikes, is vital.
Make a note, though....neither party should EVER compare one lover with a previous one, even if asked!
Yes, communication and respect are the keys to good sex with someone you care very much about and hopefully love!
posted by Genni
5 months ago
Sorry fella, but I also have to strongly disagree that all men really want is to please their woman, and that to do this, an erect penis is needed.....After a 32-year marriage and, uh, should I say "interaction" with the opposite sex, a bit before my marriage and a bit after my marriage--there has only been ONE gentleman in all that time who truly put pleasing me at the top of his list, before pleasing himself. And that gentleman was NOT my husband. This gentleman truly made me feel so beautiful and cared for, just by the way he treated me during those intimate times we spent together. And what separated him from my husband and the others--it was his tenderness and gentleness when he caressed me, laying in bed and talking with me about whatever, as we held each other close in the candlelight. It was the soothing body massage he willingly gave to me, without me ever asking. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that this man truly WAY outranks the others as a man and as a lover. And, may I add--he has ED. When I have commented to him that he is so different from the others, including my ex-husband, he seemed genuinely puzzled and had assumed that all men made love like he does, that they all put their lady first in that department. Yes it bothered him that he had the ED, but we, uh, managed to come up with other creative ways to adjust to that little inconvenience. I really believe the overwhelming majority of guys just want to get off and that pleasing their partner is secondary if it happens at all. Hey, if a man really wants to please his woman, he should try romancing her, in AND out of the bedroom. I believe he would be amazed at the way she would respond both in AND out of the bedroom. ED or not. Try it guys, you will see. ED or not.
Ladies?? Yes/no??
