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I have a friend who is a lot more....casual about intimacy than I am. She said all men seem to have a Viagra or Viagra-type product at hand. They're assured of their erection and own satisfaction, but do you think this makes for a better lover? Seems to me an erection and a considerate lover don't always go hand in hand....or whatever part applies!!!

Any experiences or thoughts welcome!

Honeybee, I know what you're saying. Thanks for posting on a seemingly sensitive topic. It does seem like all men are on Viagra or one of the other ED drugs these days. I remember my ex, who also had various other medical problems, as being extremely frustrated and upset that he had ED and had to rely on Viagra to obtain an erection. After a while, even the Viagra didn't bring about results. Talk about emotional devastation for him. Nothing I could say or do would make him feel any better. After my divorce, as it turns out, a gentleman I happened to be seeing was also taking Viagra. He was also really bothered by the fact that it didn't matter how aroused he was, the mind did nothing to create the desired effect as it had when he was a young man. We had frank discussions about it quite a few times and more than once he would tell me, "It's just a guy thing." I think they remember how easy an erection was to obtain AND maintain when they were younger, and now the mind and body togethr doesn't do what it always did when they were younger and so they become frustrated. I agree--an erection and considerate lover don't always go in hand. But I just really think it is more sort of an ego thing maybe? All men want to look good and feel good about themselves and perform well for their partner. Just my thoughts on the matter. :)

It does seem like there are a lot of men on this drug or some kind of drug for the problem......I think one of the reasons is because its all they see on TV....gotta have this to be a real man and satisfy all the women.....they are beginning to get some of the "stuff" women have had to deal with for years. If you don't look like "this" you aren't sexy...If you don't go on "this" diet you aren't pretty. If you don't buy and wear "this" make-up you don't look good. Gotta be skinny and have this long sexy hair....and look like the models.

So.....if they don't get hard and stay hard....they aren't "real" men.

I did not realize or know that that many men where on Viagra, I thank God that I,m working as good as I have all my life.

I don't have any personal experience being with a man that required any drugs to accomplish an erection. But, I don't think that using one of these drugs & having an erection necessarily makes a man a better lover - from the woman's perspective - if he's a good enough lover to truly know how to satisfy his lady. However, I'm sure from the man's side of the fence, having that erection has everything to do with being a good lover! Where would his satisfaction come from? (Aside from satisfying his lover, which although could/should be a good thing for a man - but not all the time, to the exclusion of his own physical release.)

I wouldn't have any problem at all being with a man that required assistance to accomplish an erection, provided the ultimate goal was to have a wonderful lovemaking experience for both of us & not just for his satisfaction alone.

And annie, that's an angle I'd never considered and a good point. Although not an apples to apples comparison it's an excellent self-esteem/ego comparison.

Hi All, My youngest daughter is a pharmacy technician at a local Walgreens and years ago she said that viagra has been the most frequently prescribed medication for men 20 years and up! Yes even the young men take it. Some time ago, my long time lover started using viagra. His age and really bad health habits probably contributed to clogged arteries thus ED, but it is a natural part of aging just as women change with age. The lucky part for us is that we really don't have to do anything to participate in the sex act. Men do have to get hard and stay hard to have sex. I did try the "There are other ways to please a woman" but it didn't work. I am not with my old friend anymore for other reasons but he was really honest about his feelings. It seems that men really aren't interested in women if their penis doesn't get hard and stay hard.

Strictly from a woman's perspective, I think it is great that Viagra is around for men that NEED it but I feel it is being abused and overused. And I think by now men know about it and where to get it so enough with the commercials.

Yes, I am sick of the commercials, too. That's why the 'mute' button is my favorite on the remote. However, no one has mentioned the fact that some women have a similar problem during/after menopause, which is dryness. Thankfully, I do not have that particular symptom, but for the women who do, it makes sex painful if they don't use one of those 'personal' lubricants. This is just as frustrating to a woman as ED is to a man.

A comment from an interloper-- I never use it, don't need it and cannot stand those dumb songs. Au naturale, is my thing, er, um, drug-free that is! LOL

"Seems to me an erection and a considerate lover don't always go hand in hand....or whatever part applies!!!"
I agree HB..although I have not experienced sexual relations with a man who takes Viagra, I do know that for me, having a thoughtful consderate lover who will take the time to find out what makes me, as an individual, pleased and express what pleases him is much more important. I am hoping that most men at our age are not so tied to ego that the physical erection becomes more important than lovemaking in general...maybe I'm a dreamer?