I'll arbitrarily pick 50 yrs old, after which time, who most prefers the married life or staying single.... men or women and why ? I think it will be 50/50 , but the reasons for choosing a particular lifestyle will be extremely diversified.
I love having a best friend, someone who's there for me and vice versa, someone to share the joys and the sorrows of life. I've had intense happiness in marriage and sadness as well. But that's all part of loving someone. I'm happy with my life, it's very full, and I can go where I want, travel, whatever, but, I feel everything more intensely when sharing all those things with someone I love. I want to have that great soul deep connection with someone. I've had it in the past, and I hope to have it again. I don't know if that kind of relationship can be achieved living apart. So...after working all that out in my head, I guess I'd opt for marriage eventually. But not marriage just for the sake of being married.
56 here. Married late at 33. I was the last one married in the family and the first widowed at 46. Had four (4) very short relationships. Was told I was a sweet and generous guy with a heart of gold, but NOT their type. Oh well ... win some , lose some.
I miss being a twosome. I truly want what I had before ... a loving home with a wonderful woman by my side. A woman who will love me for me. I have a lot of love to give but no one to give it to. This stinks!!! Bottom line ... one relationship that works!!!
At this point in time or at 50, I don't want to reinvent myself for someone else. It seems like the consensus is that by the time you are 50, you are stuck in your ways. Too stuck to get unstuck for the compromises it takes to be with someone else. If one is comfortable with the solo life, then I would think they could be happy that way for the rest of "whatever". Me? I have been divorced for 16-17 years and alone for the last 5. The men I chose to spend time with before my last child turned 13, were not the kind I would marry. (But it sure was fun) I chose to focus on my last child and stop all dating, drinking and any irresponsible behavior, because she was a real impressionable child. Didn't end up doing her much good, but it did me a world of it. But now I am wanting to hit the dating scene again and here I am...turning 50. Less of a dating pool now and less men interested in sex. (from what I have heard and seen) I am not coyote ugly. I have needs. Where is all the "healthy" middle aged men? lol If I could find one that didn't have ultra-high expectations or didn't ask much of me, I would marry him in a heartbeat. Of course there are other things that enter into it. But for me, I am still looking for the whole package, sex and all.
Was married for 33 years (together for 35) before my husband died a year and a half ago. I loved being married. He was my best friend, my husband, my lover, my everything. I'd love to find someone like that again and be able to share my life again, but at this age I can see the complications of that.
I date...usually, it seems that the men are unsuitable, so things never progress pass a week or two. A month or so at the most. It is not that I am anxious to marry again, but I would not be adverse to it if the right person came along. At the same time, I am liking my independence and having my own space. What I miss is the sharing of the day's events, the weekends, the daily chores, and just the daily laughter and support of another. I have a ton of friends and great kids so I am not lonely, but who wants to bother them all the time.
The sex is there is I want it. I have a high sex drive and miss having that regular partner, but not into random sex for the sake of having sex.
Still have the little girl fantasy about falling in love with love is falling for make believe. Someday my prince will come again...he will just be a different package. But then again, the princess is also different too. :}
Well..I hope all you guys and gals are listening up! Some real true feelings are being posted here. I hope it continues. Go for it! Stop siiting on the sidelines!!! And don't let distance disuade you ! MOP
What can I say ... been there? ... done that? ... got a dozen T-shirts?
I would like company occasionally when the nights are long, but it's a passing yearning. I don't think there are any women out there who would leave their life to join mine ... and I know for sure that I'll never go back to the United States ... not for the proverbial "Love nor Money".
Married again, I don't know. Married the first time for 10 years and I screwed it up. Lived with and married for 25 years the second time (married for 19 of them). I was cheated on the second time. I have been alone for over 2 years and I can do it without a problem but I enjoy sharing my life with someone. Yes I could definitely live with and share a home with the right woman and will have to see if getting married again is in the cards. We have talked about it but neither of us are in any great hurry to tie the knot. I don't believe in reinventing myself, I am who I am and I expect her to be who she is and if we can do that together and be us, life will be wonderful. Wolfie
It seems that the ones of us that have lost our spouses are not afraid of a serious relationship. I think when you lose your spouse they are taken away from you. Divorce is a choice and it can be messy. You don't trust that you could find someone and make that commitment again. My ex-husband married a woman that was a widow he told me they were not as angry as woman who are divorced. Don't be afraid if it happens you won't be able to stop it. Some of us have been married more than once. After my first husband I divorced I said never again. To me its not married its a family life.
I would like to live with someone but, perhaps, not full time . . . at least, not for a while. I would never marry again. My ex signed my name to more than $100,000 worth of loans as though he had power of attorney.
sunbathermom -- Your point explains why I want a widower. A man who is divorced had a marriage that failed. While it is not true that the blame is equally shared for the failure of a marriage, I want a widower because I never want to meet the first wife. I also want a man who loved and lost and not who may have loved and was shoved out.