Sonjia,
I'm divorced for 10 years. Since then I have had intimate and friendly relationshios. If two post-50's wish to share each other's lodging, bed & experiences that seeems to make a lot of sense to me.
How about you?
Cajun40
Getting married would be nice, but is complicated with both parties usually having children from prior marriages. I think the most important thing is to have someone in your life whom you love --- big plus if they love you too, eh?
Think it was Kurt Vonnegut who said that he awoke at 60 not wishing to make love to a woman anymore, and it was a big relief! Or something pretty close.
But I'm not 60 (55); have done the Dr Laura thing while a single parent, not dated, no flings, and I miss the intense physicality I enjoyed a long time ago as much as anytime prior in my life, just not quite as sexual. Becoming a dedicated weightlifter and long distance runner to rage against the dying of the light has not helped me become less interested in the physicality part. Worse, I remember being a better human while married, at least in the early years - actually planned and worked toward good things for all the family members plus thought it important to set a good example for my boys, so also did much charitable work, as part of demonstrating to my wife my committment to family and what I thought were both our values.
Herein lies the direction: I don't wish to disprespect anyone by uncaring sex, including myself, and I believe anyone I really want would be put off by my being in a merely sexual relationship when they find me. So if I want to shorten my career as a monk and return to being an above-average human, I need to find her as soon as I can move my boys into college and marry her shortly thereafter. I vote marriage.
Here is another vote for marriage.I have been married now for 49 years(we celebrate our 50th next June 5th)and still feel there is no other way to be really happy.
Well, being a widow and coming out of a bad realtionship a few months ago and now hearing my first husband died this last weekend (we shared a son) I would have to vote for just finding someone who is fun, physical and happy go lucky with no strings attached. When Bob died this last week, it was like being widowed all over again, he was my best friend. A marriage license doesn't bind that person to you for any longer amount of time or more emotionally. Sorry I haven't been around, but this hit me pretty hard. To penpersonpens, congrats on so many happy, lovely years together and I wish you many more. Cherish each other everyday and always show each other your love and devotion constantly, life is so short and none us know how long we will be around to take advantage of the time we do have together. I loved being married, but I don't think it is in the cards for me for the second part of my journey through life. I am enjoying "becoming" me, there is alot to still find out about me, some good, some bad, but all NEW! I am going to enjoy the ride. Elly
When I was 50 I was thrilled with my 'aloneness' and certainly did not even contemplate getting married again. 15 years later I feel that there would be nothing better than to have a long-term stable relationship/marriage. Growing old alone isn't much fun.
Been widowed for 13 yrs. I really enjoyed married life and my husband was my best friend.
I've come to enjoy living alone. I wouldn't be opposed to finding a new love and marrying again.
But living together is not for me. Don't see how it would enrich my life in any long term way.
I have no interest in marrying over living with someone. I love my life the way it is...........travel when I want where I want ......no shared decision making.......just enjoying each day on my own terms.....I have a weekend relationship that gives freedom to both parties and companionship to each of us..........life is really great.
53, widowed for 7yrs, been on 1 date, and still raising kids.
We would have to be head over heels in love, and he would have to put me first over any of his relatives who caused problems and he would have to love my kids as his own.
He would have to be so many things, that I will be surprised if he ever shows up.
I am content and happy as I am.
I've been divorced for over 29 years---have been in a relationship for the past 10 years. We don't live together--wouldn't work for either of us. He has "another" life and I love being able to spend time with my grandbabies. That said, now I did notice 2 elderly people leaving a restaurant yesterday. It was very sweet--he helped her around to her side of the vehicle and opened her door. You could tell they'd been together forever---kind of made me envious until I stopped and thought...'now they've been together forever--you're 61-it would take at least 25-30 years to have that type of relationship'---so I'm all better now(lol)---love living alone-being able to go where I want/when I want is very important to me, but it's nice to have that special someone to share an emotional/physical relationship with....
