Be Yourself
You see this advice everywhere in dating columns and on dating blogs.
But what does that mean, be yourself? I have a whole lot of selves I sure as shootin' am not going to let out of their cages. We all have a lot of selves, and not all those selves are fit to be in mixed company.
So does it mean be the self you want your date to see and love? Then what happens when your other selves come sneaking out and scare the bejeezus out of your date? The ones you wish he/she didn't have to know about?
Be yourself. Yeah. Sure.
Marti, Hello and good mornin....
Just how you just post something thats of interest this morning yes its 4am having my coffee, But interesting you bring up the subject, lets see, Im am the same person day after day, im truly what you see is what you get, inside and out.. no pretense no BS, straight love women maybe interested nowe, in a new love of my life, I am not a chameleon, or one of today's salamander whom change to suit the sitiuation our circumstances their in,
Being yourself means being you with, warts and all authentic and just as crazy if thats you, or just stuck up if thats you or split personality if thats you, broken if thats you at the time, or you could be just just a love child or free spirited soul with eyes a blazing in the miracles of life but its you so thats my view Marti,
Good morning.....
I think being oneself means not dissembling in order to interest or please others.
Good old Shakespeare: "to thine own self be true, and it shall follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man".
Just be yourself. Don't play the games. We are getting too old for that kind of nonsense. That's what the teenagers do. I feel that if someone doesn't like the me that they see, oh well, Just wait, another bus will be coming shortly.
Hmmm…I guess my approach - of pretending to be a big, burly Neanderthal-like butt-crunching professor and former GQ model who inherited millions from a great aunt and who also works part-time for Green Peace and Amnesty International, while traveling the world in search of the perfect woman with whom he can laugh and hold long conversations with - is a little off base, huh? Be yourself? Interesting…Food for thought, ladies….food for thought.
People, whether dating for a keeper or just a good time, are looking for one person.
An archetype. Not an individual, not "yourself." Yourself is too dangerous. Yourself may be The Wrong Kind. Yourself may be Not What I Expected. People want their archetype, whether that archetype is dominating, submissive, serious or fun. In the beginning "yourself," unless very lucky, is never the archetype. The best yourself can be is as close to that other's archetype as you are willing to make yourself.This is what makes dating the successful alternative to yentas.
So the question is not, "How much of yourself are you willing to be?", but rather "How much of someone's archetype are you willing to be, even at the cost of yourself?"
Just be yourself-why would you want to be anything else.
Interesting, Cougashika, very interesting. Maybe a bit cynical, but probably not too far off.
Of course, all of us in this group are totally self-aware and are not looking for those archetypes, but real, honest people.
I have to repeat what others have said. Be all of your selves, maybe not at the same time; but don't try to be some other self that is not part of you. Example: I could pretend to be a bar-hopping, party-fun girl. But in the end everyone would be unhappy when my "real" self, the bookish, linguaphile made an appearance and woke up with the bar-hopping, party guy who wouldn't know where the local libary was.
I just would not feel right being someone I was not meant to be -I would just feel like a fake!
Few people are willing to admit it, but for the most part, when someone meets you for the first time they really aren't meeting YOU. They're meeting THE AMBASSADOR FOR YOU. Like Marti said, there's plenty of YOUs that THEYs don't want to see.
I like that, Darth, the Ambassador for You.
