This gives me memories of when I was divorced and dating after having been married for fourteen years . After meeting some woman who seemed nice and going out a couple of times , the 7 Santini Brothers Moving Company would suddenly show up at my door and unload about 7 huge trunks filled to the brim with stories of her mistreatment by her parents, her siblings, her schoolmates , and especially every guy who even said hello to her .And given my state of mind at the time , my trunks were probably being delivered to her too , without me even realizing it .
If one wants to deride bitterness, hostility carried from past experiences, then say so. Not "emotional baggage" which is not clear as to meaning.
My trunks are full of life experience which have shaped who I am, character, whatever wisdom living through these events has brought -- and understanding, compassion, empathy for others.
I guess I am one of those who would want to eliminate the term "emotional baggage" from the vernacular. Say what you mean. If one is referring to bitterness, then say it and not use a term that could have many meanings.
Emotional baggage is not just 'bitterness'. It is composed of all the experiences of our lives. It is the pain, the grief, the anger, and yes, the bitterness, but it is also the joys, the happy memories, the sweetness that has been our lives.
So as we go about our lives today, we often compare our feelings and lives today with those of yesteryear, to the detriment of today. So then, even our happy memories can be emotional baggage.
What about the people who have been through all of those things and as a consequence don't want to "understand, sympathize, empathize nor help anyone through a crisis."? Are they shallow too? asks Ziking.
I don't think they are shallow, but I also don't think they are available to engage in a relationship. They are closed off, and will be so until they heal.
I like what the Serenity prayer says about finding the courage to change what you can change, the serenity to accept what you can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. That last part is the trickiest and the most important. We spend a lot of emotion on things we have absolutely no control over, emotions that we could be using to change things we do have control over. And remember that, while you usually can't fix other people's problems, you can offer a shoulder to lean on or cry on. It sounds like it would pull you down, but it doesn't. It feels good to be the strong one.
Searching1 says, “Travel Light! For the baggage you bring with you becomes part of the landscape”
Like any baggage, it's not what you take, it's what you do with what you take. "Emotional Baggage" are lessons learned. A good reference source. If you don't put it to proper use, it becomes "Extra Baggage". And that's what weighs you down.
I agree with GothamGal - what I have been through has made me who I am now. But I am not bitter and I don't think I am carrying 'baggage'. I don't 'inflict' my past problems on anyone else, they are something to laugh at now that I have survived them. I am just a stronger person as a result of having coped with them.
If someone will clearly define "baggage" I would be most appreciative. Say what one means! I really dislike this term because it is not clear. We have gotten in the habit of using euphonisms that mean different things to different people. I guess is the term as much as the vague concept that irks me.
I believe in simple terms it becomes a choice. Yes the baggage emotional or otherwise as Marti astutely points out is always there and there exists both pretty and ugly baggage, just like at the airport. We choose to be happy or unhappy with the contents of the baggage on a daily basis. Better to be happy with the contents don't you think?
