My interpretation, if you give love you gather it back, usually tenfold. I thoroughly enjoy giving. When my family decided that we would no longer give gifts to the adults I was heartbroken. Do you agree or disagree, and why?
I agree, Testo, giving love opens you up to receive love. One must be careful that he/she is not giving with the expectation of returns, however. There are some people you can and should give love to but they are not able to return it. The love you receive may be from other founts.
As far as not giving gifts to the other adults in the family...it depends on the reason for the decision. Had the gifts gotten expensive with people worrying about being sure they bought a gift that was the monetarial equivalent of the one they received? Or with giving gifts to all the nieces, nephews, grandchildren and assorted relative -- had it become a financial burden on some members of the family? Another good reason is because we just have too much stuff, anyway. What is it that most of us even need?
But, I agree that I would miss giving gifts to my family. I like to work on it all year long -- thinking about what they have said that gives a hint for that special thing they didn't even know they wanted.
If you are restricted from giving gifts to the adults, have you considered giving the "family" a gift -- whether it's a tray of baked goods, a table decoration or, if your budget can stand it, something like a television?
Well I guess I view giving as many different things......giving gifts is one way.....giving of my time....my ear when someone wants to talk. A ride when someone needs it. Giving of myself.....and I do agree....when you give love you usually do get it back...in one form or the other.
my family decided to do the same thing years ago...actually, it was my brother(who alway had the money, but would rather spend it on himself) that brought it up stating that our family was getting so big that it was costly to everyone to do it. At first we exchanged names, but then it got to be the kids only...Now, christmas just isnt christmas....sad...and all because of someone that had the most family and was just greedy.
Its suppose to be about giving, even if its just a homemade something, and yes, I could understand that things are expensive and it can be a burden nowdays, but you can get a pretty nice gift for a few bucks if you look...Im with you Test....I think it sucks...
I'm glad I haven't had to face this problem, because Christmas in particular would lose a lot of it's pizzaz if I couldn't give gifts. With 4 kids, their spouses and 13 grandkids, it's an all-year lookout for gifts whenever I time I shop. It's on autopilot.
If the family brought this suggestion up, I think I'd lobby for price limits, or a lottery for who gets what for whom.
Otherwise, they'd be getting gifts postmarked from North Pole, AK, addressed from a "secret admirer".
When I had 15 nieces and nephews to buy gifts for, plus my own two kids, I told the parents--my siblings, that I was done buying gifts for them. Then several of us hit some really difficult financial challenges and we had to stop. However at Christmas, my sister is a school teacher and gets tons of things she can never use. Like a lot of candles! So she puts them in bags and everyone gets a number. You select a gift bag or you can "steal" someone's gift. The big gift is a bag of change, usually somewhere around $50. That one gets stolen all the time. The past two times I've had the last number and while I felt bad "stealing" the money, one year my poor college student child got the money and the next time I gave it to a niece who went on a trip to Australia. It is a great time with people begging you to "steal" their gift so they can pick a new one. One time my daughter got a horrible smelling candle that actually played, "You light up my life" when it was lit. Plus it was not level. We laughed so much at that candle.
When the 4 of us got grown and left home, we stopped exchanging gifts with each other. When babies started coming, we decided individually if we were giving nieces and nephews gifts. I gave mine gifts until the were 12 or 13. My boys stopped getting gifts from aunts and uncles about the age 12. My Christmas list is short, my parents, my son, dil and grand daughter, 2 best friends and their kids that live at home. And a couple of friends at my church. I receive gifts from my parents, my son & family, and my 2 best friends, and a couple of friends at church. There is a group of us at my Church that take the money we would spend on gifts to each other, and give them to someone in the church that could use the money. Each year, we pick a different person.
I give of my time, my love, my friendship all year long. And it seems the more I give, the more I get.
Oh, I love this....yes, the heart that gives gathers.... its not the material gifts but the gifts of the heart...the more we are open to give the more we are open to receive.
Thank you starrybright. My bad, I didn't expect this to really turn into a discussion of material gifts, but I did mention holidays in my original post. Giving encompasses so much more than what you can buy someone.
I like to give gifts-I used to like to surprise the ex with something-it is the gifts that you don't feel obligated to give that are the best. Christmas-I am more dissapointed with it as time goes on-it is supposed to be a religious holiday, a family holiday-not the over commercialized thing it has become.
