Message 604 of 1745

Yet Another Hypothetical Situation

With all the talk here about whether we would keep our live-in mate or SO under dire circumstances here is yet another hypothetical situation:
Suppose you met the "love of your life" kind of person. Had a wonderful courtship and then subsequently married. Things are going great, you both have good jobs and are now on your third anniversary. Then something odd begins to happen. Your beloved partner begins to lock him/herself in a bedroom for days and won't come out for no apparent reason. When he/she does come out their behavior is very strange. You barely recognize him/her anymore. He/she loses their job and you are left wondering what to do next. You finally get him/her to a doctor and learn that he/she has a diagnosis of a rare neurological/mental illness that has no cure. Your mate now has regressed to a child and looks to you as the parent. Your family knows what's going on and encourages you to divorce him/her and save yourself. What do you do? Do you stay knowing things will never be any different even with medication or do you divorce your beloved partner in an effort to save yourself?
anakris's profile
Replies 1 - 10 of 13
I would stay married because you marry "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health". What are you saving yourself from? I don't understand what that means. Maybe monetarily? Doubt it--I think long term care places can go back for 3-5 years to recoup money.
gingersnap723's profile

4 months ago
stay married
annieoak's profile

4 months ago
Only she and God can deal with this, guilt can't be the factor or you're not thinking clearly.
chillinjoan's profile

4 months ago
Do you love that person any less? I would stay and find the best care possible for the situation. That could mean moving that person into an assisted living situation, but I would not divorce someone over something they have no control over.
TestofF8th's profile

4 months ago
I want to believe I would remain married to this man, continue to love him I suppose in a brotherly way. When it came right down to it? Who knows what the other factors would be. But, probably, stay married.
OKScissortail's profile

4 months ago
has life gotten to be so disposable? When someone is no longer able to fulfill our needs because of an illness that they have no control over just kick them to the curb like trash? so sad...it would seem that it was not truely love to begin with...
kdfn's profile

4 months ago
Anakris,

I stayed and its was associated with the chemo my late wife had the mental issues started after Chemo, and other treatments for cancer , I was hard and yes divorce was a option but no one would step up to help her or me, so I stayed until she recovered but she as the person I knew as gone, mental and physical , she told me to go on later because she did know herself anymore, after a 12 year battle and remission she is gone now, I dont regret one moment in staying, it would have been worse if i had not, truly know what love is , its about what you have together that gets you through the tough stuff, not friends or family but you two, .. plus we had three kids so, she finished the race and i am a new journey living and focus on loving my grandchildren and hopeful of a new future ahead .
bibi1955's profile

4 months ago
Stay married. If you need to put your spouse in assisted living, do it. At the least, explore respite options for those with seriously ill/disabled family members.

I believe even Ann Landers recently refused to scold a married person who found discreet comfort in someone else's company when his wife was in late stages of Alzheimer's and in a nursing facilty because he still visited daily and cared for her. If the solace of online friends, or even a discreet S/O helps you endure, we should not judge you harshly.

The caveat being that this is a discreet situation so that it's not thrust into family and friend's faces, and there's no way the spouse will recover or know of the displaced affections.....
Honeybee123's profile

4 months ago
stay married if married.
if dating...
contact HIS family.
Depending on the length of time together and if you
truely love the other and what resourses are
in place. Either way, it wouldn't be easy.
But divorcing someone solely for health
issues... is shallow....
konashell's profile

4 months ago
This sounds real, is it?
chillinjoan's profile

4 months ago
Replies 1 - 10 of 13