Got pretty mad at him Scottmpa.
Not the first time in earth history that one was mad at God. None the less, He is still overseeing the fine mess we have made of His creation. He'll allow us to screw things up until He finally says....ENOUGH! That day is coming, and to me appears very close.
He so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have everlasting life.
losing a child is like learning to live with an amputation the pain does not ever go away its just there
we just learn to live with it. it has been 6 years and I no longer wake up crying in the night.wow now that I say that I just realized its been a very long time since that happend.I can go for long periods of time now before just out of the blue a sadness will decend on me and I dont fighjt it any more i just give in to it have what I call one of those ugly crys then i am fine for awhile again. as for being mad at God he is tuff he can take it, its part of the grieving prosess to get mad at someone...
as for people not understanding what were going through no they could not possibley I have had people in there ignorance of not ever experianceing something like losing a child say stuff like you just need to get over it and get on with your life...in my mind I am thinking that is a callis thing for someone to say.
yet I know in my heart they think they are helping...I cant tell you how many friends are no longer a part of my life after losing my son the true friends are still here but the rest they all fade out of your life...
I always think of a poem I found about that People come in to our lives for a reason a season or a life time.we need or gain something from the relationship just as they do and when that porpous is fullfilled then they are gone.
I look at my sons passing that way now he was on this earth for a reason,he has fullfilled his reason and now he is gone,& I do thank Jesus for our salvation for that gives me hope knowing I will see my baby again someday. untill then I am here fullfilling my reason for being....
If we were honest, most of us would say we were mad at God for a time. I know I was. At times, I wanted to go where my daughter was and take care of her because she didn't do very well on her own. Most of the time, this kind of stuff is the grief and overwhelming pain talking and we grow to understand that we just have to experience it and live with it before it gets easier. But it does get easier, but never goes away entirely. Some days, I still want to scream!!!!!!!
Two points I'v been pondering, one I can't stand it when people who have never been in my position, never lost a child, tell me what I should do to get over it, they don't have a clue. To come here and refer to us as "you people" and give advise, really gets me. I and I know a lot of us look to God, and our faith to get us through. This group is a place where I have been able to draw strength from people who know what I go through every day and escape all the I have no idea what I'm talking about,but I'll give you advise anyway people. Sorry but I get angry too sometimes. The second point, I see all of us who lose our precious daughters and sons every day, but I have noticed more and more so often it's sons, post after post reads I lost my son. I have really been wondering why. I saw an episode of Dr. G. she was talking about it. She said it's true that she sees more males than females because they are more risk takers and engage in all kinds of dangerous activities. She said males just do a lot of stupid things. I guess she might be right, when I think of all the crazy things my boys have done. Dr. G was pretty blunt about it, but I guess it's not a plot against boys, they just like to be daredevils and be brave and tough. I know Drew did.
You may have something there Drewsmom my son was the same way I cant tell you how many times that boy caused my heart to Flip over in my chest.when he was 5 he crawled up in to a tree 25ft and fell out landed on his head. was in the hospital for 3 days in ICU because he had blood on the brain,fractured skull,& coller bone,later we found out it blew out his right ear drum so he was deaf in his right ear.an ear nose and throat specialest told us he should never play contact sports because if he took another blow like that to his head it could be fatel ( & yes you guessed it he had to play football)...another time he was riding a mini bike he broke his ankle,had 2nd & 3rd deg burns on his leg and needed 6 stiches on top of that where the chain cut threw his ankle...
it was always one thing after another untill that fatefull night I got the phone call he was hit by a car. I dont remember ever going through that kind of thing with ether one of my daughters....
I know, I had three brothers and they were always doing something, falling out of the hay mow,crashing bikes, spray painting their eyeballs, can wouldn't spray, so he decided to turn it around and have a look, pushed the button and it sprayed. He came tearing in the house screaming im blind, but actually he had painted his eyeballs silver. They broke their bones, cracked open their heads and on and on. My parents spent a lot of time in the ER. But some how they survived. Drew wasn't so lucky. He didn't live long enough to get his drivers licence, and I was already worrying about the day he would because he always had to go fast.
