Yes, been there with the loss of my first grandchild a granddaughter who at only 6 mos passed away....I will not get into the cause but let me tell you it could have been prevented! I did nothing but grieve for two solid years and was not nice to anyone......I guess it's all how one handles loss and grief. It took my daughter to tell me how selfish I was and that all of my family went through this loss not just me -(I wanted to die!) She told me that if I didn't change my ways I would soon lose the rest of everyone because they were so tired of me and my attitude. I am so glad she did, it made me realize that although I felt such a great loss and a part of me died - that we need to be strong, have faith and start living again! I am so sorry for the loss of your son........it's so difficult to put into words how it feels to lose a child..............I am so glad that someone had the courage to say the harsh words to you so as to "snap out of it" (the pain is still there, the loss,) but we do have to be strong and someday we will be reunited again. Have Faith GOD BLESS YOU.............HTG
I also know how you feel. I lost my oldest son in 2006 from a brain aneurysm. He was forty seven and had a fourteen year old daughter. I know how it feels just to want to give up. I,m so sorry for your loss. I know its an old clique, but you really do have to take it one day at a time.
This was wrote not long after my son died. To let you see how important a friend is in a time of need.
Death's Unknown"
As cruel and sad as life maybe
So few hearts of friends to cheer me.
Without the comfort,hope, without a friend.
I only look to death,s end
For every direction that I turn
Only to find that I long for and yearn
For the compassionate heart of some one who will care
For a soul who will reach out and be there.
Why do I feel so alone?
Maybe relief from this sorrow,lays in deaths unknown.
May it so come and take me home.
I had just moved and had got a divorce after 25 years of marriage. Then my son died. I had no friends at that time.where I moved. It feels good to know I have some now.
Just make it a point of sending anyone of us a PM when you need to talk. Not many in this crazy world we live in take the time to contemplate what life is all about. I was one of those at a time in my life when it was all about me. Losing a child stops you dead in your tracks. We have lost so much. The only way for me to make any sense of all this is to try and make a difference in someone else's life. It is the only thing that gives me great satisfaction.
Thank You Silveradod..I noticed in the last sentence of my poem I miss spelled a word. It should have read. [May it soon come and take me home} I hate that when that happens.
I,m doing a lot better now. but I think the worst part was grieving alone. I still have bad days. Days that I can talk about him and days I can't. I know some one that has been in my shoes ,is the only one that really understands.. Who did you loose silveradod ?
I wish I knew what to say to make it better, gatemate, but I don't.
The only thing I can do is share part of my truth.
I grieved alone and am still grieving ... and still alone.
I cry everyday.
That's every single day.
Sometimes it's a gut-wrenching, spirit-tearing wail from the pit of my soul...
Sometimes it's just a tear sliding slowly down my cheek.
I function.
But everyday I cry.
It's been 7 years.
He was 29 y/o.
Murdered.
My only child.
I accept I'll never get over it.
And I try very hard not to allow the anger and bitterness get the best of me.
But that's hard to do.
Side effect: I can't be hurt by anything or anyone ever again.
No hurt comes close to this hurt.
I wish I could tell you something good.
But I can't.
It hurts.
That's all to it.
That's the way it is.
For me.
##
Gate mate I love the poem it is hauntingly beautiful! Silveradod96 I am the same way I learned from almost the begining how to cope with it. we had lost my brother 13 years before I lost my son I knew from the moment they pronounced him brain dead that I was going to need more strength Than I had for anything I had done before,I thank god for blessing me with family & friends whom I gained my strength from with out them I am not sure I would have survived. helping others who are going through this painful process Is what helps me deal with my pain better.But most of all I Thank god for Blessing me with almost 21 years with a wounderful son.know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers-Hugs Kim
The words Brain dead haunts me. I keep hearing the doctor say those words. A nurse saying, "He was such a handsome boy too" "It's to bad.! as he lay in the bed dieing. Or don't bother talking to him ,he can't hear you .{Coma}
.! Thank you for the kind words.nanakim I feel this site has more compassion and heart felt sorrow and more understanding than any one I have talked to. in all these years. Thanks every one.
I lost my son too recently (September 21, 2008) I relieve the day we got the news over and overin my mind. I see people going about business as usual and inside my heart is crying for my son who can't go about business as usual. I understand your pain because I am there. I try not to dwell on it, but it is right in my face, my son is dead...how do you get past the hurt, the pain, the agony that forever dwells in your heart for your lost child...how I ask, how...sometimes I feel as if no one understands my pain, my grief...I go on because I have a husband, and three children but it is difficult, some days I just want to die myself. Enough about me, I just wanted to connect with you and tell you, you are in my prayers and if you want to talk, cry or scream...I am here...
You guys make me sad, but make me think at the same time. I have only one child. If she was ever taken before me it would crush me. Of course we worry for her safety alot.
Only God can take the hurt you feel. Remember that He allowed His Son to be the substitute for our alienation from God. He died on a cross at the young age of 33. God knows how it feels to lose a child too. He will support you when you are totally down and out. The first step is asking Him to forgive you for your separation from God and asking for His Son's sacrifice to be counted to you for forgiveness. The rest begins to fall into place.
