the less expectations you have, the less dissapointment you will have
::::::::::::::: but now .. now we know better .. and the big problem with love is once you fall into it you expect something .. if you're just friends with someone and it gets to the point of horizontal but you leave that love word out neither party can claim that you let them down because no real promises were made .. but once that love word gets into the mix everything changes .. because once you're in love you have expectations.. so let me ask you if you were to fall in love tomorrow what would your expectations be ?? ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I honestly don't believe it's going to happen to me or for me again. But if by some crazy break in the time/space continuum (sp?) it should happen and I fall in love and this time the guy actually falls in love with me too, I wouldn't know what to expect next but in my heart, I would love to have a partner to go through this part of my life with. I don't want a "friends with benefits" deal. I want to merge my life with someone who wants to merge his life with mine. But of course, I want to go through the whole getting to know the person and likes and dislikes and stuff in common and all that good shit that comes in the beginning, And if we still love each other after a couple years of being in love, I would like to get married again. I've only done it once and I would really like to have the man I love, love me enough to marry me and we take care of each other through our rockin' years.
But back to reality...I really don't think that will ever happen to me.
Deb, if you want love, I hope it does happen to you again...I do agree with everything you said.. I take love seriously and it does not happen for me as in a manner of changing one's shoes. I do not think it will happen to me either but if it does, like you, I would want it to be sincere and respectful and kind and lasting...
if you want it, it will happen
everything is in our hands
inclouding to meet the right person for each one of us
Alex...you said the right thing to begin with...the less you expect the less you will be disappointed....so in my mind that means don't have ANY expectations. Hope for the best and be glad if someone returns the love you give them...be happy for anything remotely associated with being loved....it's all good.
i could love people that didnt loved me
i respect people that do not respect me
but it does not mean i have to have a life in common
when i love some one, i have the great feeling of loving some one
if that love comes in return that will be great
not because i live some one i have to be involved romantically with the person
if the love is in both directions, than being romantically involved could be posible
for me loving some one means i know the person, i know all the values and morals and i like all what i know (exception to this, is with unconditional love, but i am not talking about unconditional love)
then i can say i will not be disapointed
as for unconditional love, i dont belive any one will be romantivally involved because she/he loves him/her unconditional
there is no unconditioonal love in romantic love
Ahhh...love and expectations...love is not a promise to be broken..that would be a committment or a marriage...and nice if love is part of that but we all know that sometimes it isn't or it changes during a relationship.
It is quite possible for me to love someone deeply and intensly and expect nothing...in fact that is the norm for me...it's only when the two of us decide to get up all inside each other's business that the expectations come...first we agree we don't want to see anybody else, so the expectation is that we aren't out there looking anymore....then depending on the level of committment we want, we are willing to negotiate a whole variety of different terms..and they are as different as the types of relationships we've had and what we want to protect ourselves from. Anytime we agree to enter into a relationship, there is a risk....some of us are willing to take a bigger one then others.
well seein as how i asked the question i suppose its only fair that i answer too .. i think the expectations i would have would be honesty .. i'd like to know that when we talked to each other it was the real deal and not a big facade .. and sometimes honesty hurts .. but to me that would be important .. i'd like us to be able to listen to each other and agree to disagree if we do without commin unglued .. and while i'm not responsible for anyones happiness somehow if i loved them i would feel like i was and i'd like to be able to make them happy but that bein said i don't want to be joined at the hip to anyone so if they had somethin they liked to do i'm ok if they do it without me .. for myself i'm not lookin for any kind of financial gain so i don't expect that ..but if she hit the lottery i guess if we put our time in together i would probably expect somethin .. but i'm easy .. and cheap too so it wouldn't have to be a big deal .. and i think a certain amount of loyalty too .. as far as marriage goes if i really loved them i think i could but i'd want some kinda livin together process for awhile to be sure .. but if i went thru that and came out unscathed and we still loved each other i think i could do that .. but it would have to be a lot longer than 15 minutes .. i suppose the rest could all be negotiated as we went along .. and oh yeah i'd expect her to love me back .. like i loved her .. too much to ask for ?? maybe .. but if it's out there i might find it someday .. it might find me .. but if it does .. this time i'll try to pay attention .. you never know ..
I think my problem was I didn't expect anything,I gave&gave&gave.I can say I have been in love 2 times,in lust 2 times,and married 3 times(one died)Divorced other 2.I am NOT looking for any more love(maybe lust?)I think one of the main things I didn't get but wanted was just some respect, because if you truly love someone you respect them and with that comes knowing you'll never hurt them.I hope all of you that want to meet someone,do and live long and happy!But for me I finally have peace of mind,and lots of love from family and friends,so I am content.
Frenchy, the word "promise" kept jumping out at me when I read your post. I reminded me of my favorite quote that I have learned to live by:
“If the time has come when you have desired this special demonstration with one person alone, then choose it, as you say. Announce it, and declare it. Yet make your declaration an announcement moment-to-moment of your freedom, not your ongoing obligation: For true love is always free, and obligation cannot exist in the space of love.
If you see your decision to express your love in a particular way with only one particular other as a sacred promise, never to be broken, the day may come when you will experience that promise as an obligation – and you will resent it. Yet if you see this decision not as a promise, made only once, but as a free choice, made over and over, that day of resentment will never come.
Remember this: There is only one sacred promise – and that is to tell and live your truth. All other promises are forfeitures of freedom, and that can never be sacred. For freedom is who you are. If you forfeit freedom, you forfeit yourself. And that is not a sacrament, that is a blasphemy.”
CWG3.
